Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 74

Lan Wangji's whole body was still extremely tense after the events which had happened just now. He had truly thought that he had ruined everything and his relationship with Wei Ying had fallen apart due to his actions and harsh words. He could not be any happier that the boy showed him such understanding and also so much trust. He was sure that only just a few hours before, Wei Ying would not have dared to try and communicate with him in any other way than answering his questions by either nodding or shaking his head.

The fact that the boy was trusting him to the point where he would actually initiate a conversation himself felt like a miracle all on its own. Sure, he did not speak aloud nor was he trying to talk for hours as he had had in the past, but even this much was already shocking and extremely courageous from his side. It must have taken a lot to dare to open his mouth and Lan Wangji wanted to praise him for all his efforts.

However, he did not know how to do so. He was not certain he would be able to find the right words which would express his happiness. He could not say anything in the line of just being glad Wei Ying spoke to him. The boy could take it as encouragement to open up more, which would be good and Lan Wangji was aiming just for this, but he could also understand it in a way that he would start thanking Lan Wangji for every small thing.

They could not have that, definitely not! It was already uncomfortable that Wei Ying had thanked him at all. It was not like Lan Wangji had done all that much, his thanks were quite undeserved. And had the boy not thanked him by bowing even earlier than this afternoon? Even though Lan Wangji understood that it could probably not be helped at this point in time since Wei Ying must have been experiencing kindness, so rare in his life, it did not mean that he should encourage such behaviour. He wanted the boy to get used to being treated well and take it as granted just as everyone else.

Feeling like his words would be inadequate no matter which ones he would chose, Lan Wangji was in a slight distress. He still wanted to show the boy that he appreciated immensely his decision to dare and trust him. He was afraid that if did not say or do anything now, Wei Ying could be discouraged and never try reaching out and opening up to him ever again.

Somewhat at a loss but still thinking hard he could only reciprocate Wei Ying's eye contact and smile and continue to pat his head. He felt a little pathetic for being only able to do this much. Luckily, the boy did not seem to mind all terribly and he was still looking at him with his grey orbs filled with seemingly endless adoration and gratefulness.

In the end, Lan Wangji could not take it anymore and he all but blurted out the first words which came to mind. Wei Ying had been so open with him and so brave, why could Lan Wangji not do so as well? It was a great step for him too, though he really could not let Wei Ying wait any longer.

"Thank you for talking to me."

Well, now he had done it. Despite his tension never going away brcause he was waiting for the boy's reaction, his shoulders still relaxed. Now that he was not agonizing over what he should say, he actually felt better.

Bless Wei Ying for not taking his words in a bad sense. The boy's eyes have now shifted to look at their joined hands and there was a very shy and happy expression on his face. His cheeks spread into an even wilder smile and Lan Wangji's heart skipped a beat. This one was actually the same he had once upon the time gotten from the boy back in the Lotus Pier Manor. Wei Ying's cheeks also became a healthy pink – was he just shy, embarrassed or simply happy? Lan Wangji could not tell, but all of those would be good as long as he did not scare the boy to hide his true self again – and he now looked as any other normal person.

Well, this perhaps sounded a little weird given the fact that the boy was still laying in the bed and clutching Lan Wangji's hand in his own. Of course, he had been a normal person even before, however, Lan Wangji could feel that the atmosphere around him had changed with his words. He would not be able to explain it, it was just there and it was making him feel over the moon with happiness. It was as if Wei Ying had finally fully come out of his shell and let himself relax as never before.

As if to wordlessly thank him again, the boy nuzzled his cheek against his hand after a short while, still looking quite shy. Lan Wangji liked this change in attitude. Now that he had seen the true Wei Ying – as he believed that was what had just happened – he never wanted to let go of this image. And not only the memory, he never wanted the boy to revert to his previous self.

The moment was getting long and Lan Wangji was becoming shy himself. He was not used to such shows of affection. He patted the boy's head a few more times before he retracted his hand. This earned him a glance from the boy and what Lan Wangji could only name as the most adorable little pout ever; he categorically refused to see it as anything different. Though this latest reaction only lasted for a fleeting second and he could not be sure he had not imagined it.

He cleared his throat to regain his senses. He felt awkward all of a sudden and did not know what to do with his hand which was no longer patting the boy's head. He was wondering how he could get out of this situation. Even though he would have loved to prolong this sweet moment between him and Wei Ying, he also knew that it was starting to get over his head. He was truly not used to these kinds of situations and it felt overbearing after a while.

Then again, he could not stay like this forever either, Wei Ying must have been hungry, he had barely eaten anything for lunch. Yes, that was it, he needed to get the boy some dinner since the time of the evening meal was nearly upon them. In a split second decision, he immediately dismissed going to the dining hall, he did not want the boy to strain himself too much. They would both eat here. There was nothing wrong with spoiling Wei Ying a little bit more and letting him eat in his bed, especially given the fact that he was still a patient.

After finding his bearing again and having something to do now, a clear goal to think about instead of letting his thoughts wander around the fact that Wei Ying never once let go of his hand, Lan Wangji looked at the boy. "Wei Ying, would you like to eat something?" he asked quietly in what he hoped was an encouraging tone.

The boy did not hesitate even for a second. His eyes looked up and his face brightened in a huge smile. He nodded and Lan Wangji could not believe that anyone would be so enthusiastic about something as mundane as dinner. He smiled back and nodded in response. Then, he all but fled the room to go procure food for the two of them. He felt his ears growing steadily warmer and actually had to start reciting the Cloud Recesses Manor's household rules to calm his heart.