Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 34

The walk to Wei Ying's room was quite short and quiet. Neither Lan Xichen nor Lan Wangji said anything and of course the boy himself remained as silent as ever. At least, and it was making Lan Wangji's heart feel at ease, Wei Ying had not rejected walking side by side with him. He felt like not everything was lost yet.

In fact, he even believed that things were perhaps getting just a tiny bit better. With the way Wei Ying had silently thanked him with such a small smile when Lan Wangji had taken the book with him, he felt like they were finally getting somewhere. It was extremely precious. He had to make sure that there would be more of those small sweet and easy moments in the future. He should do his best to avoid any triggering situations. Although he knew fully well from experience already that it would be literally impossible to avoid them fully.

Wei Ying was just too traumatized and had had only little good experiences with people. He always seemed to expect the worst every single second of the day. He was also acting way too nervous almost all the time. Lan Wangji was sure that there were many things which reminded the boy about his painful and sad past. He just could not avoid all of them.

And perhaps it was not even necessary or wanted. If Lan Wangji could make it so that Wei Ying would be confronted with situations he had previously feared, but in a safe and controlled environment, it may be good for him. Well, not the scary experience as such, of course not. However, if someone, be it Lan Wangji himself or someone else, would show the boy that there was nothing to fear and that those situations would not play out for him as they had had done so in the past, Lan Wangji felt like this could convince Wei Ying the Lans meant him well.

It was a risky approach, but one they would have to go through even if they did not want to. There was simply no way anyone could protect the boy perfectly, especially when they had no idea what could trigger him. Still, showing him kindness and support when the boy was at his lowest, Lan Wangji believed this was the way for Wei Ying to come trust them the fastest. He would really have to work more on his reassurances and on expressing himself clearer in general.

They now arrived to Wei Ying's room and they entered. Well, Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji entered and the boy remained standing outside of the door, hesitation visible in his posture and the way his hands were joined in front of his stomach. His eyes were wide open and he was looking kind of confused. Lan Wangji was asking himself why that was. Lan Xichen had said clearly that Wei Ying needed some rest in his room. Why was the boy now surprised when they came here to do just that?

It was only then that Lan Wangji remembered how reluctant had Wei Ying been the last time he had been caught hiding his fever. He had not believed them then that no one wanted him any harm and they would let him rest. Surely, in the past, the boy had hardly ever gotten to experience not being worked to the bone when he was not feeling good. It must have been quite a new notion to him.

It seemed exactly like one of those things Lan Wangji would like to show him was fine and safe to do and believe.

Lan Wangji observed Wei Ying for a second and then, when he was sure the boy was actually looking at him through his eyelashes, he made a small welcoming gesture. He wanted to prompt the boy to enter the room as well. He was overjoyed to see that Wei Ying did not as much as flinch and with a look of awe on his face, he came inside.

Lan Xichen who had been until then waiting with an encouraging little smile on his lips nodded his head and prompted the boy further: "Young Master Wei, come take a rest. You should sleep for a while for your fever to go down. What about you go change and in the meantime, I will call for some medicine. You do not have to worry about anything aside for getting better."

Wei Ying still had that awed and incredulous look to him as he stood in place and made no move to go change as he had been told. One of Lan Wangji's eyebrows shot up, he was wondering what could be wrong this time. Luckily, Wei Ying was not looking distressed or scared, so that was something. He was however not looking relaxed either. Lan Wangji did not quite like this kind of situation. He wanted Wei Ying to only be happy and at peace all the time.

Then, to Lan Wangji's inner panic, the boy's head lowered. Wei Ying now looked only sad and somewhat bothered. What could be wrong this time?

Lan Wangji felt like he should be by now getting better at reading Wei Ying without the other using any words. After all, the cues were right there, it was just the matter of getting the hang of understanding and interpreting them. Even now, after looking just a little bit more intently, Lan Wangji could tell what Wei Ying was feeling. Those emotions were becoming more and more clear to his eyes. He hoped that he would get even better at reading the boy in the future. It was imperative so he could help him.

It was getting a little bit concerning how Wei Ying only stood in place and looked at the floor. Why was he not responding in any way to Lan Xichen's words? Could it be that he did not for once take them as orders to follow? Or even worse, that his fever was getting worse and that he could not even hear them clearly?

Lan Wangji looked all around, trying to find something which would help him to decide what to do. He knew that the longer they waited, the bigger the chance of something going wrong would get. He had no idea how to avoid Wei Ying having another panicked fit or him getting scared out of his mind again.

Then, he noticed something very disturbing. He should have probably realized the second he had set foot in Wei Ying's room. However, he had been too preoccupied with his own thoughts to look properly at that moment. At first, he had to think really hard to understand what was making him so uneasy but in the end, it was actually very easy.

The room was in the exact state in which it had been when he and Wei Ying had come in last evening. It was very orderly and there was nothing out of place. In fact, one could say that it was very Spartan, very bare even for a room in the Cloud Recesses Manor. There was nothing inside that would hint anyone was living in it. There was nothing which belonged to Wei Ying here.

Though, Lan Wangji had seen him upon his arrival to the Cloud Recesses Manor, he had not come emptyhanded. At that time, Wei Ying had had a small suitcase. Where was it? Lan Wangji could not see it anywhere in the room no matter how hard he looked. The only things which were actually here were the book of the Cloud Recesses Manor's rules and the night robe which some servant had prepared for Wei Ying last evening.

Lan Wangji was confused. There should have been more. Although the boy's suitcase had been fairly small, way smaller than he would expect someone who was going to work in the Cloud Recesses Manor for a long time would need. At best, there must have only been a change of clothes or two in there, nothing more would fit. It hurt to know that there would certainly not be any personal objects. The Jiangs would not permit something like that to Wei Ying.

Lan Wangji slowly turned back to the boy and looked at him again. Wei Ying was biting his lip nervously. He seemed to be getting more and more anxious. It would just not do.

Even though Lan Wangji wanted the boy to go take a rest as soon as possible, he was bothered by the fact that all his meagre belongings were missing. He supposed that getting Wei Ying into his bed could still wait a moment, until they found his suitcase that was.

He remembered how the boy had thought that this room did not belong to him last time, could he still be harbouring the same fears? Had that been why he had not brought his belongings here? Had he perhaps hidden them somewhere out of sight?

Lan Wangji made sure to keep his voice as even and gentle as possible and asked: "Wei Ying, where are your things?"