Won't you believe me? (Servant no more - book 2)

Chapter 111

Wei Wuxian was standing between Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli. It was very strange but with those two by his side, he felt like he was prepared for everything. Although his fears had not disappeared completely and were still present in his mind, tossing and turning and attracting his attention to them, they were not the only thing he could think about anymore.

He found it grounding that both people he cared about the most in the world were now standing up for him, apparently ready to face anything that would come. At last, he could breathe more or less freely again and had no more problems getting enough air into his lungs. His heartbeat had slowed down as well and he was feeling a lot calmer.

It was like a true miracle. Having someone ready to defend him was nothing too new, however at this moment, it was not making him agonize over the consequences for Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli. It was not him standing alone, and it was also neither of his protectors who had to shoulder everything on their own. The three of them were together and they would be able to protect each other if worst came to worst.

Or at least this was what Wei Wuxian dearly wanted to believe. He was willing his fears to disappear and be stronger so he would also be able to protect Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli in case Lan Qiren would target them. When faced with so much courage and given so much reassurance and support, he felt bad being the only one on the receiving end.

True, he had no idea how he would be able to protect anyone aside for throwing himself into the line of fire, but if it would help, he would do just that without a second thought. He could not stay a weakling and be dependent of others' help all the time, letting his favourite persons take the burnt for him. He simply had to repay their kindness and protection in kind.

With his determination to stand up for his sister and master growing, Wei Wuxian's heart was becoming more courageous. He was ready. For what, he could not tell. But he thought he could finally do something more than to just cower into himself and let Jiang Yanli or Lan Wangji be hurt because of him.

He was a little surprised at the same time though. He could not remember when had been the last time he had dared to even think about being capable enough of helping anyone at all. Of course, he had tried to protect A-Yuan from Su She, but that had been different. He had not done anything consciously nor by putting effort into his actions. He had just stood between the child and the person who had been scaring him and passively took everything Su She decided to do to him, with resignation and nothing more. He had been just as scared as the toddler so no one could actually call it an effort to help the child.

This time though, it seemed different. Wei Wuxian's body was not trembling and his shoulders straightened unconsciously. He was ready to fight for Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli if need be.

Well, he had to admit he was still scared. He was afraid that if it came to it, Lan Qiren would not be able to understand him. He could not talk to him, he did not have that much courage, so he would only be able to use his actions. And even then, he was still unsure if he would be able to explain show his intentions properly. Anyway, he tried to stop his swirling thoughts and insecurities, he would do his best. There was always the option of kowtowing down and silently begging.

Wei Wuxian glanced at the two steady figures standing by his side and his heart was full of happiness. They looked determined. He was truly being spoiled and protected, was he not? He still had a hard time believing that someone like him was worth so much effort on Lan Wangji's and Jiang Yanli's side; especially coming from his master since they had had literally no connection just a few days ago. When it came to Jiang Yanli, she had known him for years, but what did Lan Wangji see in him that made him stand up for him like this?

However, even if Wei Wuxian could not put his finger on his master's motivations, he was still infinitely grateful for the support he being offered. So freely too, Lan Wangji had not asked for anything until now; and Wei Wuxian felt that no form of repayment would be enough to show just how grateful he was even if his master asked for something in return.

Gathering all his courage and determination, he shifted his eyes towards Lan Qiren, making sure that the elder would not see him doing so. He did not want to anger him any more than he already was. His master must have noticed his change of attitude already and Wei Wuxian was now anxiously checking what would be his reaction to seeing him this rebellious.

His heart dropped again when he confirmed that Lan Qiren was not happy at all. The elder was now scowling even harder and looking at the three of them with an unreadable expression in his eyes. This could not be anything but bad.

Wei Wuxian shivered and had a strong urge to hunch into himself once again. He felt Lan Qiren's eyes on him, piercing him and accusing him of being a very bad and disobedient servant. The courage he had gathered because of Lan Wangji's and Jiang Yanli's presence suddenly seemed insufficient. He felt like a baby rabbit being stare at by a giant snake, petrified to his core and knowing the end was near.

However, before he could begin panicking and kowtow to his master in a prayer for forgiveness, he felt someone touching his arm. Jiang Yanli had already been holding onto him so it could not have been her. That only left one possibility: it was Lan Wangji who wanted to give him even more strength.

And it worked like a charm. With something he could concentrate on, Wei Wuxian felt calmer in a matter of a single heartbeat. He had almost forgotten that he was not the only one who needed to protect someone. His master was of the same mind and had promised, surprisingly enough, his protection to Wei Wuxian. He was not alone in this. And this knowledge was everything he needed to face Lan Qiren with clear mind and without fear.