Stay Strong (Our2ndlife/O2L)

Chapter 14~Home

Haley's P.O.V

It's Thursday. Five whole days from the party and I'm at school.
I haven't talked to Sam since the party and I've been avoiding Kian.
It's just awkward around Kian now I still can't believe he didn't tell me.
I've also, been staying at the 4/6 o2l apartment. They all get what I'm going through and let me stay. I'm currently rooming with Connor.

Oh and my cheek has a slight purple bruise on it. I've been asked about it from some of my teachers but I always just say a ball hit my face instead of the real story.

Honestly, I don't know how to feel anymore. Sad is a word to describe it but it's so much more than that. I feel lost, abandoned for the most part. I feel like a piece of me is missing but no one knows how I really feel.
Connor, Lia, Danni, and all my other friends see me like nothing had happened. I didn't even tell Lia and Danni what actually happened. I just avoid the topic when they mention the bruise on my cheek.

It gets worse and worse everyday. I've been cutting more often and I can barely try to stay clean for one day. I just feel like I'm falling in an endless hole. I'm really trying, I am but with everything I'm going through.. Its just to much.

The bullying is getting worse. Things are being taped on my locker and papers being posted around the school. I can't handle it.
They put papers up around the school about me. They were everywhere and said terrible things about me. I cried when I saw them. Lia and Danni helped me take them all down but It was already to late. The whole school saw them already. Even the grade nines would stop and stare or laugh when they saw me.

Saturday and Sunday were terrible enough with the whole party thing but now I have to go through this.

Another person found out I should also add. Found out about everything. It was Ricky. He kinda walked in on me.

Flashback to Sunday

Connor just left the apartment and I broke down. I tried my best to be as quiet as possible.

I went into his washroom and shut the door behind me. Hopefully this will make my crying less noticeable.
I slid down the door crying my eyes out. I can't take all of this. I can't believe he hit me. He hit me because I'm worthless. He probably doesn't even care about me. Sam's probably at home watching TV and not having a care in the world. He doesn't care, no one cares. No one cares about me.

With one hand over my mouth I scream, letting my sadness out.
I get up and sit on his toilet, with my head in my hands. I look up and stare at the mirror.
I'm disgusting. Something then catches my eyes in the mirror. Connors shaver and beside that was a pack of shaver blades, to replace the old ones.

I look in the mirror once again. I hate myself and the way I look. I hate everything about me and Sam must hate me too. That's probably why he hit me.

I dart up from the toilet reaching for the blades on the sink counter. I roll up the track pants I have on and sit back on the toilet seat. I stare at the blade I hold in my hand.

'You deserve this, you deserve pain.' A little voice says in my head.
'No one likes you anyways, not like anyone would care'

I scream, forgetting to cover my mouth. Tears burst from my eyes, as I take the blade to my skin.
I make three cuts across my leg. I burst out in tears louder than before as I watch the blood pour out. You deserve this I mentally say. As I'm about to make another cut, I stop at the sound of Ricky and the door opening.

"Hey Haley, I heard a scream and I-" he stops mid sentence in the door when he sees me.

I look up at him, feeling ashamed. I drop the razor out of my hands, making it fall on the floor and I burst into tears. I'm exposed. He can see everything now, my cuts, my scars, everything.

I soon feel a hand by my side. I look up and see Ricky wiping the blood on my leg with a cloth. He gets the disinfect spray from Connors cabinet. I flinch when I see what he's gonna do.

"This is gonna hurt a little."

He sprays it on my cuts and I wince as I feel the burning. He then wraps a bandage around my cuts and pulls my track pant back down my leg.

"Thank you." I whisper, looking down not making eye contact.

He picks the razor off of the floor. It's covered in blood.

"Haley-"

"I know. Cutting is bad and I shouldn't do it. I heard this lecture before. You just won't get, its a long story."

"I have time."

I sigh, getting up and walking over to Connors bed. I sit and Ricky sits next to me.

I explain everything to him and I'm in tears by the end. I told him everything, the cutting, the bullying, what happened at the party, everything.

"Please don't tell Connor that I cut again. He thinks I'm fine, I don't need someone worrying about me." I say in tears.

"Haley you have to tell him. It's either you tell Connor or I tell Sam. Your choice."

"Ricky please." I whine.

"Haley you have to let someone know."

"No Ricky, I don't! I was perfectly fine keeping this all to myself. I don't need people worrying about me. I don't want any sympathy about this."

"Haley your not fine! Your breaking down inside."

I shake my head in denial. I break out into more tears. Ricky puts an arm around me, giving me a side hug.

"You know I'm your friend but this is what's best Haley. I'm always here if you need to talk, remember that."

I nod, continuing to cry as Ricky comforts me. The door then opens with Connor walking in the room.

"Hey Connor." I sniffle looking up.

Flashback over

Ricky found out about my cutting but I decided not to tell Connor. The last thing I need is him worrying over me more than he already does.

It's the last period of the day at school. So basically It's just another day and I'm dreading it to be over. That's how the whole week has been actually.

I just want to go home and I'm not even sure where that is anymore.
_____________________

That was Chapter 14!!

Sorry for no update last week! I had my phone taken away but I have it back. To make up for it here's a little early update on the Saturday instead on Sunday. Plus I'm gonna start reading your books you guys sent me.

Anyways,
What did you think about the chapter?

What do you think/want to happen next?

What is Haley going through?
Will Connor ever find out that she's cutting again?
Does Ricky know that she didn't tell Connor?
What's Sam up to?
Where's Kian?
Will Ricky really tell Sam if he finds out?

I guess your gonna have to wait and see ;)

For a NEW UPDATE this chapter must get 11 comments and 12 votes.

Anyways,
I GUESS I GOT TO GOOOOO
hope you enjoyed chapter 14
Your fello fanfic writer is out ✌️