No One Else Like You

A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be

"I never should have said "I love you". You never said it back. So why do I still care for you?"

- Jess Benko (A Soulmate Who Wasn't Meant To Be, 2019)

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Y/N's POV

It was history repeating itself. An endless loop of heart wrenching pain with nothing but the same outcome. I'll always be an option for her. A second choice. From time and time again, I'm always overshadowed by her past with Robbie. Someone she remembers. Unlike me. A complete stranger, an obstacle to who she truly wants. Him. And no matter what I do, even at my best, it doesn't seem to be enough. I'm not enough for her.

In a blink of an eye, everything came crashing down. I thought I made enough progress to where she would realize how much she truly means to me along with my genuine feelings, but I'm farther back than I've ever been. I've been knocked down so many times. More than I can count. But, this time felt different. I don't think I have the emotional capacity to get up and keep fighting. I've fought for so long without hesitation, and I'm tired. Physically and mentally. I don't have anything left.

Here I am, walking farther away from her as I'm reminded of the times she chose him over and over again. It came to me like wildfire. The indescribable pain I felt through it all. Tears streamed down my face, my heart shattered into thousands of pieces. I couldn't take it anymore. Everything hurts. Inside and out. I can't seem to catch a break. I just want to be happy. I feel as though that's too much to ask for someone who has suffered an immense amount of heartbreak.

I thought it was different this time around. I saw and felt our connection. Something so pure, and genuine, everything I have done for her ever since she woke up, I thought they were enough for her to choose me this time around. She looked at me, and made me feel this way. I believed it. But, I guess I was wrong. It was strictly one sided. It always was.

I never knew it could hurt this much. But, here I am, driving away from where I thought was our home. I broke down further at the thought of leaving, my lips quivered in pure agony, tears pooled out of my eyes naturally. I poured my heart out for her. I gave it my all. My best effort. I showed her how much I love her, but she couldn't reciprocate it. Her heart belonged to someone else. And it's not me.

Flickering lights, and the sound of a car honking pulled me out of my trance. I swerved just in time before the worst could've happened. Everything happened so fast, I didn't have time to react. I got out of my car, the rain pouring down on me as I fell on my knees. And that's where I broke down completely.

I held my chest, hoping it would lessen the pain I was feeling, but it didn't. My heart hurts, and there's nothing I can do to make myself feel better. The only person that I want, doesn't want me. And one after the other, a realization hit me. I can do everything and anything to make her love me, but I can't make her choose me. That's my reality. And I have to live with that.

———

I didn't know where the drive led me to, but here I am in front of the club I met her. Where everything changed. It wasn't that I wanted to go here to relive the memories, but my heart led me here. I looked up at the colorful neon light sign, the loud music from the inside pulling me in as people came in and out of the place.

My feet dragged me inside the room full of people. I looked around me, everything sounding muffled. My eyes glossed over, my gaze followed the bar. I made my way through the crowd, solely focused on doing one thing.