No One Else Like You

Lost

"I'd never lost it all till I lost you. But I was much too reckless and I broke your heart in two."

- Secondhand Serenade (Lost - Acoustic, 2017)

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Y/N's POV

My eyes followed her emerald ones as she looked at me with disgust. I could feel the disappointment in them, hoping I was someone else. My heart shattered as I could no longer recognize the person I fell in love with. A single tear escaped my eyes, my walls closing in, leaving me no room to move. There's absolutely nothing in this world I wouldn't do for her, but she wanted something I couldn't do. I couldn't be. She wanted me to be him, and there wasn't anything I could do but watch her love someone else.

I thought it was going to be me. Us. But, here I am, from afar as years have gone by, and I was left with nothing but witnessing her build a life with him. Then, the day came. Invitations were sent out, and I received one myself. I shouldn't go. I would be breaking my own heart. But, I didn't have the courage in me. And so, I went.

I didn't make it to the ceremony in time. From afar, I watched as the people cheered them on, throwing flower petals in celebration of their unity, the smiles on their faces said it all. Her smile made my heart ache. I've never felt true heartbreak until this very moment, where I have to accept the fact that this is it. I have to let her go. She saw something in him that she wasn't sure of with me. A future.

I gasped for air as my body jolted into consciousness. Sweat covered every inch of my body as tears streamed out of my eyes naturally like they were meant to. I couldn't breathe, and it feels as though, the harder I tried, the more it was hurting me. An indescribable sensation stirred inside of me, setting me up for failure of my own emotion.

On the verge of a panic attack, I turned on the light, and grabbed my phone. I called the first person that popped into my head, my breathing becoming more and more erratic as I'm waiting for the other line to connect.

"Hey, is everyth—"

"Can you please come to my apartment?" I said in between sobs. "I-I-I, uh, I don't know w-what to do and I'm feeling so much."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

I dropped my phone somewhere under my sheet. I laid back down, muffling the sound of my own cries, wondering what triggered me to dream something that felt so real. The pain that followed, and how I seem to attract it everywhere I go, made me realize how badly I've been avoiding my own past. It finally caught up to me once again.

I don't know how long I've been drinking inside of my dark living room. The tears that dried over time made it feel like it was long ago since I stopped. A knock on the door pulled me out of my thoughts. I sluggishly made my way toward the door, barely having enough energy to lift my hand and pull it open.

"I'm sorry I took so long."

I looked at her with my bloodshot red eyes. I thought I could control it. I thought maybe it would take some time for me to break down again. But, as I stood in front of her, I came crashing down. She pulled me into a comforting hug, offering every bit of solace she could give. No one understood my pain better than her. She has seen it all.

Eventually, I managed to calm down. A little slouched over, I tried maintaining my composure as I sat on the couch, buying myself some time before I had to explain as to why I called her at two in the morning. I closed my eyes shut for a second to muster enough courage to speak.