𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐀 || 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐘

chapter 36

not long after my dad asked me and Malia how school was going , my mom went and talked to my dad. i knew my mom smoked , she wasn't a drug addict , i don't think she would put me and Malia through that again. but she did smoke cigarettes and weed. i didn't care about that , it wasn't like being on hard core drugs. i hope she never does that , well again.

i know she used to , even when she was pregnant with me. that's probably why her and my dad used to get along as much as they did.

that's something i always think about , my mom was doing a lot of bad things while she was pregnant with me and then before , she wanted an abortion but it was too late for that so she was gonna put me up for adoption. but she ended up holding me after having me and then kept me.
my dad was also in jail when i was born.
so i wasn't really planned nor wanted (LMAOAOA)

my mom told me those things , i've said something's about it but i wasn't completely sad over it. that was then , now i ah e a good relationship with my mom and she told me she feels bad about ever not wanting me. but i don't know. mixed feelings with that topic i guess.

my mom was more sober and on her feet when she had Malia , though my dad was still the same.
i'm glad Malia had different , better.

i don't know if Malia was 100% planned but my mom didn't think twice about her. they wanted her.
and i'm glad they did , i don't know what i would do with her. yeah Malia might annoy me and get me in trouble sometimes but she's always by my side and has my back. i love her.

-

i laid my head my head on Malias , her head being on my shoulder. i was waiting for my mom to come back out so we could leave. i wanted to go home.
even though it would be another long drive back , i just wanted to leave here.

i watched as people would open the door when there was a knock , then my dad would tell them his daughters are here like that changed anything , then after a little they would leave. it was a routine , a routine i've been watching since i was 6.

i didn't like that Malia was the age i was , watching it too. she shouldn't have to , we didn't live here anymore. but her we are.

i kept her close and made sure she didn't get up alone , but she didn't get up at all. she sat next to me the whole time , staying quiet and only smiling when someone would say something to her , mainly because it would be "you've gotten so big" or "i've watched you grow up" there's not much of an answer to give.

here , my dad and his two brothers lived.
one of my uncles , the one that opened the door , wasn't so bad. he was more stable and in control , he wasn't a hard addict like his other brother.
he was nice , did things for the the house.

but my other uncle , he was bad.
he didn't use to be , but after his girlfriend of many years died he went down the wrong path , he did a lot of different drugs and other things.
and now he's skinny , says he sees demons , and constantly talking about how we should worship god , even though i don't think he does his self.
on his room door he wrote a bunch of random things , in sharpie.
and he totally tore up the inside of his room , the whole floors messed up and the windows are even knocked out.
he put a blanket over them , used to at least.
now there's pray painted cardboard over them.
i don't really know what's wrong with him , i didn't try to know much and i just listened to what my mom would tell me. but sometimes he would start yelling and smashing things saying that the demons were telling him to , or that they were messing with him. i've been around a cohoes times to hear it , Malia too. i hate it for her , she doesn't understand what any of the things are so i knows she's scared , i would be too if i didn't know why my uncle was the way he was.

after a long while of hearing the door open and close , thinking over everything i've witnessed here and thinking about what i would tell Malia when the time came , my mom came out.

i sat up saying "finally" as she walked to me and Malia.

"are y'all ready ?" she asked while my dad was walking down the hall , to where we were.

"yeah" i answered , i've been ready for 20 minutes.

"okay well we're gonna go , we'll come back some time" my mom said , turning to look at my dad

he nodded saying "okay" and then hugging me and Malia. he kissed both of our foreheads , i smelled weed and cologne on him.

he said i love you while hugging both of us "i love you too" me and Malia both said back , stepping out of the hug.

"i don't have a new number yet but i'll text your mom if i ever get one" he said , that wasn't true.
we wouldn't hear if he got a new number unless we came here and he told us.

i just nodded , knowing he wasn't telling the truth.

"okay bye" i said to him
"bye" Malia said after me

"bye girls. be careful" he said , meaning while driving.

i walked out the front door after my mom and Malia , and turned to see my dad was standing there watching us until we reached the car.

"okay" my mom said after sighing and sitting in the car.

once she started to pull off my dad waved and closed the door , going inside.

AUTHORS NOTES.
i fell asleep before i could finish so here it is.
i'm at the hospital rn cause my sister is pregnant and they think she might be going into labor , so i'll be here for some time. i'm gonna write more because i'm bored

🤘