Chapter 1

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"Mom! Mom! Mom!" Olivia heard as she slowly began to regain consciousness. For a moment she thought she was dreaming, that was until she felt her bed bounce and a body land on her back.

"Ugh...Noah." She whimpered slightly. She openned one of her eyes to look at the bright red numbers on the clock that rested on her bedside table. It read 6:15am, with a little blinking Saturday underneath the numbers. The first day of her weekend and of course, with her luck, she had gotten caught up on a case the night before. Making her arrival at home not be until 2:00am that morning, which is when she was finally able to dismiss Noah's nanny. Her six year old son always choose the perfect day to wake up early. She closed her eyes again and rearranged her head on her pillows so that it was facing the opposite direction of the hazel eyes glued to her face. "Five more minutes Noah, please. Just five more." She emphasized the last five by holding up five fingers above her head.

Noah, who was now sitting on his mother's back with each leg on either side of her bounced a little, "But mooooommm, I'm hungry and I want pancakes."

She grunted in response and dug her face further into her pillow, while she mumbled, "Too early."

"Mom!" Noah watched as she took the pillow from under her head and wrapped it around her ears. He laughed and got off of her to stand completely on the bed. He began bouncing on the empty side beside her, creating a perfect rhythm. "Pancakes mom! Pancakes! Please get up so we can make some pancakes!" He continued his jumping and chanting until he saw her eyes open completely.

"Are you serious right now?" she asked him as she rubbed her eyes to try ot get herself to wake up. She was going to need coffee, really strong coffee.

Noah clapped his hands before grabbing Olivia's to gently pull her up, "Serious mom! I missed you last night."

She smiled widely at him and pulled him down into her arms, "I missed you too baby! I'm sorry I missed bedtime."

He nuzzled into her embrace and wrapped his left arm tightly around her waist. "That's okay mom, you were chasing those bad guys." She smiled again and kissed his head. She felt her eyes slowly closing once again. Noah must have noticed as well because the next thing he said was, "Mom, no falling back asleep."

She whimpered again, "Fine, but can we at least go out to breakfast? It is to early for me to be making pancakes."

"Can we go to that diner that has the great milkshakes?"

She laughed, this child was going to be the death of her, "I don't see why not." She covered her ears slightly at the loud excited "YES!" that came from Noah's lips, before he jumped off the bed and ran into his room to get dressed. She never understood how her child had so much energy in the morning. All she wanted to do was throw the covers over her head and fall back asleep until the next day. She willed herself to stretch her limbs, raising her hands above her head to push against her headboard. She sighed in relief when she felt her muscles pull in all the right ways. Before her eyes closed again, she forced her feet to hit the ground and she stood up slowly.

The ride to the diner was full of an enthusiastic Noah who kept explaining to Olivia about how he was going to get the chocolate chip pancakes with bacon and a large strawberry milkshake. "A small milkshake Noah." She said as they were entering the doors to the diner.

Noah sighed dramatically and looked up to his mom, who was now corking an eyebrow at him. "A medium," he tried with a pouty face.

She shook her head at him and smiled, "Fine, a medium but that's it for sugar today."

He pouted again but didn't say anymore as they sat at a booth on opposite sides. As he pretended to peer through the menu he asked, "What are you gonna have mom?"

"Hmmm. I'm thinking an omelet."

"And coffee?" he said as he put his menu down.

She chuckled at him and out her menu down as well, "You know me so well son."

He smiled widely at her. When the waitress came up to take their order, he insisted on ordering for both of them. As she watched him over emphasize his mother's need for coffee, she couldn't help but smile in pride at her boy. He was everything she ever dreamed for in a child. He was smart, kind, energetic and had just that right amount of spunk running through his veins. He reminded her so much of herself, that she often forgot that she had not given birth to him, not that it mattered anyways.

Although he filled a spot in her heart that she never believed would be filled, she still longed for someone else in her life. Olivia now thought she was asking for to much; God had gifted her with a child and now she was longing for someone to fill the other half of her bed. She often found herself missing not only the physical part of a relationship, Tucker was the last man to touch her and that was years ago, but the emotional aspect as well. Someone who she could just vent to after work. It's not that she hadn't tried to fill that spot before, many times in fact, it's that every man she even openned a piece of her heart to either ran or turned out to be less than what she was looking for. Kurt had begged her to move in with him, promised her a home and a family, but she knew he could never handle the harshness of her job. David had stolen the pieces of her heart that she allowed him to have, promised her he wouldn't leave and had chosen the job over her. Brian had been good to her. Had helped her through one of the most difficult times of her life. She loved him but when he had been overly enthusiastic about her not being pregnant, she knew it would never be. She wanted a baby, he did not. Tucker was more of a fling. Someone to fill the physical aspect of a relationship that she had missed. The other men who had accompanyed her bed, had only done just that. That was all she ever allowed of them.

And then there was one man, who didnt occupy any of her life anymore but still occupied a portion of her mind and heart. As much as she tried and pleaded with herself to forget the man who stood by her side for twelve years and who had thought so little of her that he didn't even give her a goodbye eight years ago, she couldn't. She still thought about him, she still longed for him and as much as she hated herself for it, she was still in love with him. She carried around all these excuses with her as to why the other side of her bed was empty, however the only one that was the truth was the fact that none of the men she had ever given herself to were him. They would never be him. Although, she had never physically succumb to her feelings for him, emotionally she had succumb one hundred precent, and all these years later the emotions were still there. The tall, blue eyed, hot headed married man and father of five children, who she had fallen for the first time she had laid eyes on him, Elliot Stabler. Damn him.

She was brought out of her thoughts by Noah tapping his fork on the table in a perfect drum like rhythm. "Making music over there?"

He met her gaze and handed her a spoon, "You too mom."

She laughed and lightly tapped her makeshift drum stick on the table as well. The waitress delivered their food shortly after and they ate while Noah talked about his first upcoming soccer game later that day. He was especially excited that Olivia was going to be able to attend. "You're really coming mom?" He asked as they stood up to leave.

"Yes baby, I'm coming. I told you I was. No work today, scouts honor." She held her hand up in salute and laughed when Noah rolled his eyes.

As she threw some bills on the table, she heard him mumble, "Embarassing mom."

"What?"

He smiled apologetically at being caught, "Nothing?"

She nodded and wrapped her hand around his shoulder as they began their journey to the door, "That's what I thought you said." When he looked back up at her, she added, "I will be there son. Uncle Fin promised to take charge over the weeked so that I didn't miss it."

"We do love Uncle Fin for a reason."

She laughed out loud and went to push open the door open right as someone openned it. Not bothering to look up, she placed her hands on both of Noah's shoulders to guide him out when it beccame apparent that the stranger was holding the door open the door from them. "Thank you," she said as they walked passed.

"Olivia?" she heard.

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