THE RETURN

Chapter 58

They stayed silent as they both took their designated spots in the vehicle. Unfortunately, the silence wasn't just from the overpowering of emotions within them, it was also from the fact that whatever was going to be spoken first, was not going to be pretty.

Elliot ultimately lost the battle within his own mind and said, "You don't have to be so negative about it Liv."

She shot a glare in his direction, "And you don't have to be so goddamn godly, but you are."

At that he could feel the tension begin in his neck. Other than the small argument that they had had over his word choice to the boys, they really hadn't had a disagreement. He knew at that moment, they were about to. "Oh, so I'm godly?"

"Yes! You think because God blessed this to happen, that everything is going to be okay? That's so unrealistic Elliot."

"I'm not claiming that everything is going to be 100% okay."

"Well, then why won't you agree to the screenings?"

"Because what difference does knowing do? If the baby has Down syndrome, there's nothing we can do to fix it. So, what are you planning on doing? Get an abortion?"

If they were back in their partner years, this would have been the time she stepped up to his face. Actually, truth be told, if they weren't in the car, that's probably what she would have done. "You son of a bitch. You know I would never do something like that."

"Then why does it matter! We'll know as soon as the baby is born, without putting you or the baby at risk with these screenings they do now."

"I don't even think those risks are that high. If they were, nobody would be getting the screenings done!"

"Or they're only getting them done because they're obsessed with knowing every damn detail going on in their pregnancies and that is more important to them, then the risks."

Every inch of hurt that he had ever caused her was present in the way she said, "Fuck you, Elliot." At that moment she remembered all the hate she had harbored for the man that she was now completely in love with and that woman, who hated him so much, blew a breath of relief at those words.

He looked over at her quickly but was rendered speechless at the amount of raw emotion on her face. He never wanted Olivia Benson to ever hate him again and at that moment, she did. He deserved that, so a few moments of silence passed between them before he said, "I'm sorry, Liv." He would always be sorry for everything he had ever done wrong to her.

She rubbed her temples and looked at the buildings passing by her window. "Have you ever cared for a child with Down syndrome Elliot?"

"What does that..."

Her voice raised high enough to over power him when she spoke again, "Have you Elliot?"

"You know I haven't."

"And I haven't either. I don't know the first thing when it comes to caring for a child with Down syndrome or a child with any sort of disabilities, at all. My knowledge only exceeds Noah's previous weak immune system and asthma issues. We wait to find out at birth, we won't know anything El. Nothing. Do you know how unfair that would be to our child? Being birthed in a family that was unprepared for them." When he doesn't answer her, she whispers, "That's why I want the screenings. For her, or for him. So, she or he has everything they need to live their life fully."

He nodded his head slowly in understanding, "We'll listen and decide which ones we'll get."

"Together Elliot, we'll decide together."

He nodded once more and reached for her hand, "Together."

Although he had tried to ask her to take the rest of the day off, she had decided to go back for the day. The unit was in complete destruction and to try to avoid any more stress for the days ahead, she had to patch up the pieces again. With a promise to him that she would keep it easy, he reluctantly grabbed her a quick lunch to take back to the office, encouraged her to try to be off at 6:00 because the boys wanted to go out, kissed her hand, told her he loved her and wished her a good day.