Fitoor

8 | Off The Hook

Shehnaaz

I gasped as I felt tremors of horror ripple through me as I heard Ahaan on the other side of the door. Sidharth on the other hand looked annoyed. I quickly slipped off his desk and looked at him for help. He quickly pointed towards another door on the left side of the study passing the large bay windows, overlooking the lake.

I swiftly sprinted towards the door and once inside, I pushed the lock button on the doorknob and locked it close. I released a quick breath of relief and realized that I was inside a spacious washroom.

I leaned on the door and sank on the floor as I heard Ahaan's voice once again.

"Was it really that much of an emergency for you to come here at this time?" Sidharth said with clear contempt.

"I know I'm sorry but this is really important" Ahaan stammered. It was a real shocker to hear Ahaan stammer because, over the last 5 years of me knowing him, I've never heard him stammer. After all, he was that confident. Sidharth must really scare him.

"Whatever, let's get it over with" Sidharth replies sullenly.

The next few minutes are spent with them both discussing some Chinese deal that was overseas. While they kept on discussing the deal, I find myself pondering over my recent activities.

Jesus! Sidharth is probably thinking how desperate you are shehnaaz!

As much as I wanted to convince myself otherwise, I knew that the statement wasn't wrong. I mean it hasn't even been two days since I've known him and yet we made out and all. I was glad that we did not go far enough to have sex. As much as my body ached for him, I needed to control myself.

The whole situation felt like such a mess right now. I know for a matter of fact that I'll never he able to have a normal relationship ever. And the sole reason for my fucked upness is also somewhere inside these very walls of the castle.

Then there are my scandalous and illicit encounters with Sidharth, whenever I'm close to him, I feel a deep pull towards him like someone is compelling me to be near him. I lose all my self restraint and it was honestly scaring me big time. I've always had every aspect of my life planned out. Every step! However, as soon as Sidharth entered my life, my entire thoughts fly out of the window and the only thing I can focus on is him.

I know that any other girl would totally love to be in my place enjoying all his attention. Then again I wasn't just some normal any other girl. I faced a lot of challenges at a very young age, resulting in me losing my ability to feel any romantic connection with anyone. Turning me into who I am today.

Sure I went out on numerous dates with random men but they were either a failure or ended with a night of sex. Most of the men I was involved with were physical relationships only to make myself feel at least something. But nothing came out of it and at one point I gave up. Yet in Sidharth's presence, my body lights up with excitement and unadulterated pleasure. He had this unique ability to bring out this desperate wanton side of me that I did not even know existed in me.

I couldn't distinguish my feeling for him. Was it because of the thrill of being in a forbidden affair or was it because he was Godly attractive?

As I continued to hear Ahaan's animated explanation and with Sidharth's occasional 'yes and no' to acknowledge No's work, my mind wandered back to Ahaan. Now that I think of it, Ahaan did mention his few cousins. I always remembered him telling me how his eldest cousin was so domineering and cold heartedly ruthless; I now wonder if he meant Sidharth all along. Sure he was always calm around me but I could tell with the way he treated others, he was not the nicest person to encounter.