Fitoor

30 | Sharing Pain

Shehnaaz

I stare up at the starry sky, placing the palms of my hand flat against the thin concrete railing. The stunning visuals of the moonlight that was reflected against the surface of the lake almost reminding me of the painting inside Sidharth’s study.

I clutch Sidharth's white shirt tighter around my body to protect it from the cool breeze of midnight. The stars twinkled and glowed bright and for a moment I wondered, how it would feel to lie down against the plush furry carpet that cocooned my feet in its warmth. The gentle breeze blew the strands of my messy hair away from my face with a faint smell of moss hinted at the promise of rain soon. Within a few seconds, the earthy smell gets replaced with the fresh smell of after wash that has been lately reeking off me due to a certain someone.

I smile as soon as his arms circle around me, enveloping me in his warmth and I slightly tilt my head to see him looking down at me with an unreadable emotion on his face.
Oh lord! Why does he have to be so fucking attractive?

“Do you have any clue on how lovely you look right now?” He asks with wonder whilst tracing his fingers on top of my bottom lip.

I decide to tease him and with a mischievous gleam in my eyes, I bit my lip and shake my head. His eyes darken to the point where they look like two shiny daimonds filled with desire.

Suddenly I don’t know what urges me to do this but like I said, once a thought crosses my mind, it doesn’t take its leave so easily.

“Do you want to know why I hate Natasha?” I ask him and watch him frown with surprise upon registering my question in his head.

He slowly nods and asks, “Are you ready to tell me what happened?”

I pull myself away from him and take a deep long breath to gain my composure before sitting down on a grey outdoor lounge chair that was placed on the balcony. I twiddle my thumbs nervously as I watch him. sink on the black L shaped couch opposite where I was sitting.

“Go on” He speaks with a domineering edge and I find myself telling him everything except that incident.

“Natasha, Alina, and I used to be friends since the time we were kids. I used to be a bit different from them. If you want me to be honest, I wasn’t a spoilt brat like them. Despite my parents being so loving and not so strict to me, I was always scared of facing disapproval from them. Then there’s Sameer. I always used to like him since I was a kid. I never looked at him like one would look at their brother and he was everything I wanted back then. Natasha at first tried pretending that she never knew about my massive crush on Sameer but on the inside, she used to feed lies about me to Sameer. Sometimes I find myself wondering, what on earth made her turn so bitter towards
me? Then Ahaan came along. We always hung out together and he never really liked Natasha. Since that time, she started showing her true self and we drifted apart. As Ahaan and I were really close, everyone assumed that we were dating but we never really clarified them, now that I think of it, maybe that was the biggest mistake I've ever made. Just a few days before senior year was about to start, me, Natasha, Alina, and a few more girls decided to join a frat party where we met Abhay. From what I remember,  his brother was the one who threw the party that night. Apparently, Natasha had
a huge crush on Abhay and wanted him to notice her after Ahaan constantly avoided her. But unfortunately, in a game of truth or dare, Abhay ended up with a dare to kiss me and we did. The last thing I remember about that night was, Natasha, storming out of the place enraged, and the next day boom! Everyone in our school was badmouthing about me.”

I pause for a few seconds to drag a lungful of air and watch Sidharth from underneath my lowered lashes. His lips were set in a thin line and he had a thoughtful look on his face. Noticing my silence, he nods his head for me to continue and I begin with my narration again.