Fitoor

34 | Hypnotic

Shehnaaz

“You're distracted” Neha states simply and I break out of my reverie to look at her.

“what? No, I’m just...” I trail off not knowing what excuse to give and huff holding the golden retriever puppy closer to my chest. The furry creature whimpers and cuddles further into my embrace to seek warmth whilst I stroke his fur lovingly. I was more of a cat person than a dog but this puppy was beyond gorgeous and cute. The dog aka Tarynn belonged to Savita. Since Savita was busy using her break by spending her entire day in the spa, I stayed back and volunteered to take care of her dog.

Tomorrow’s the grand ball and the whole staff was resting. It was pouring outside heavily and the sound of rain hitting the glass was a comfort to my distraught self.

“I feel so disconnected from myself Neha,” I say honestly and look down to see the puppy asleep in my arms.
Neha sighs and pokes my shoulder making me look at her.

“You're confused,” She asks but it sounds more like a statement. I nod my head at her and place the puppy gently on the couch beside me so that it doesn’t wake up. After doing
that I brush away the golden fur littering on top of my white shirt.
I was wearing a white chiffon full sleeved shirt paired with blue denim and black boots.

The marks on my wrist from yesterday left by the handcuffs were slowly fading and it was now barely noticeable but not wanting to take any risk, I wore a full sleeved shirt, and thankfully the weather was slightly chilly today.

What happened yesterday was like a kick in my ego. I wasn’t angry, I was broken. If I was angry, then it would be at me for surrendering to him so easily. All my life I wanted something like this. That instant attraction, growing heed, intense hunger...

Sidharth was everything I could’ve possibly ever wanted. I wasn’t going to lie; I did like his dark brooding nature. The way he swirled passion within me was undeniably hot and addicting. His mere presence makes my vein hum with ecstasy and joy. As much as I enjoyed the feeling, I also abhorred it.

He had the power to destroy me and that’s what scared me the most.
Yesterday he unleashed a side of him that confused me. I wasn’t afraid but one thing was certain that whoever that person was, he wasn’t innocent. From the short time I’ve known Sidharth; he doesn’t seem to be the type of person to do things irrationally But then again, he could also be a serial Killer for all I know. I shudder inwardly thinking about it.

Last night was like a wake-up call and I think vaguely, he is always the one to make the first move which makes me feel weak for some reason. Aside from all this, I make up my mind. I have to avoid Sidharth or at least show him some resistance. It was the only way. I won't let him in unless he tells me what the fuck was that about.

“Earth to, Sana!” Neha’s voice snaps me back to reality and I release a huge sigh and tell her the edited version of course.

“I don’t know, Neha. He’s just so intense that it scares me. I know you told me to let him in but it’s hard to do that when I’ve been doing the exact opposite over the last eight years. I’m confused. I know that any girl would kill to be in my position right now. Heck! I myself feel privileged to be with him. I mean he’s just so...” I try to form words to describe his charismatic aura but fail to do so and look down my knotted fingers resting on my lap.

Suddenly, The Weeknd’s ‘Privilege’ starts playing in the living room’s stereo system and I and Neha both look at each other at the same time and soon we both burst out laughing at the irony of the song along with the situation.

It was almost as if God was mocking me right in the face.

After wiping away the solitary tear away from her cheeks, Neha’s expression grows serious as she gazes intently into my eyes.