Fitoor

54 | Sated Hunger

Shehnaaz

He's right. I feel guilty because I wasn't a good friend. I shouldn't be a good friend to Neha because I'm guilty. I shouldn't feel obligated to help her because I feel guilt. I should be there for her because she's my bloody best friend and I fucking love her.

And suddenly it dawns on me; Sidharth is the one who gave me this piece of advice. I don't know what the fuck happened with Sahil and honestly, I don't even care. All I know is that, despite my doubts and confusion about Sidharth, he has always been there by my side, often defending me when needed. This increases my respect towards him tenfold as I look at him with gratitude.

"Thank you, Sidharth. You're right. It's just that I feel so fucked and helpless. All my life, it's been Neha, holding on to me in my worst days. It has always been her who has helped me and suddenly she's...God, I can't even spell it. I just feel helpless with absolutely no fucking clue on what to do..." I trail off and rest my back on the leather couch. From my peripheral vision, I watch Sidharth nodding at my words and leaning close to me.

Slowly, he pulls me inside the warmth of his embrace and I lean back on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart. My skin heats up underneath the gentle caress of his hand running up and down on my shoulder and I breathe in his fresh masculine scent mixed with his signature woodsy cologne which instantly turns me on.

Despite my exhaustion, I want him- no, I need him. As if reading my mind, he shifts slightly so that he's looking down at me and I tip my face up to look at him. Like a switch turned on, my system pools with desire as I take in his form. He looked delicious beyond words with his bulging arms ripping underneath his black shirt sans his suit jacket and his eyes looked hooded with an unmistakable yearning.

It feels like an eternity has passed since I've seen this look in his eyes. The next thing I know, I straddle my legs over his lap and my lips join him in a wild passionate frenzy. He tasted like mixed berries and flavored fruit which I couldn't pinpoint.

* * * *

Did I mention that waking up to Sidharth Shukla's embrace in the morning is my most favorite thing?

It's a really phenomenal experience, to be honest. You know, the whole waking up to someone experience. It's something that I never thought I'd experience. Not after all the sins that I've committed.

I find myself wondering about what Sidharth would think of me when he finds out that I'm a murderer. Instantly, my hand that was previously stroking Sidharth's hair gently stills.
I peer down at my hand and look at it with sheer disgust. This exact same hand took away a life.

As much as Anita and Neha tell me to believe otherwise, I knew better. Yes, maybe I did rid the world of a psychotic serial killer but the price of taking away someone's life still rests heavily on my entire being. Before I can think further, I feel Sidharth gently stir, and looking down, I watch him look at me with silent adoration in his eyes with a cute boyish dimple-kissed smile playing on his lips.

"Good morning, love," He says with his delightful heavy accented voice, and I myself drowning inside his gorgeous eyes.

'Oh wow, Shehnaaz. Could you be any LESS sappy' I hear my subconscious yell at me sarcastically and I decide to ignore her.

"Good morning to you too" I reply with a cheeky smile and he places a small peck over the skin of my sternum where his head was previously resting. Suddenly, a thought pops inside my head and without thinking much, I ask him, "Sidharth, do you by any chance have a half-brother?"

As soon as I voice out my question, I watch him tense underneath me.

Oh shit, why did I say that?

"Are you out of your mind?" He menacingly whispers through his gritted teeth and goosebumps cover my skin when I see his pupils dilate with anger.

"I, uh-h, Sidharth-h please, you're scaring-g me" I stutter with fear and watch his eyes soften when he realizes his behavior.

"What on fucking earth compelled you to say something as stupid as that?" He says with a groan and rubs the sleep off his eyes.

"I-uh, I met a guy in the hallway of Neha's Apartment yesterday. I swear, he reminded me of you so much. Both of you look a lot alike, even your eyes! You both have the same eyes and facial features. I'm not so sure..."

I focus on Sidharth and watch his eyebrows furrowed into a frown as if he's contemplating my words."Sidharth look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that but it's just he looked a lot like you I've seen a lot of men but you're really handsome you know"

"It's alright. I believe you. My father and I are the only people in my family who look alike...unfortunately"

"Unfortunately?" I say, a little surprised. I mean, is this guy for real? He's so handsome

"Yeah...my father inherited his features from grandfather and I inherited from my father," He says the word 'grandfather' with such disgust that I find myself wondering, how can someone's grandpa be so cruel?

I can never imagine my grandpa act like such an abusive cunt. He was a gentle sweet old man not only to us but to the whole world. He knew how to disarm and charm his opponents with his sweet kind words. This reminds me; I should actually ring that old man some time and make mental note to myself.

"Hey, look at me" I mutter and cup his chin to make him look at me, "It doesn't matter from whom you inherited your features. It's a part of you and you're amazing.

I understand your reason for resenting your grandfather and honestly, if he was still alive, I would've kicked the shit out of him but since he's not. Forget about him. Forget about that miserable shit, ok? He doesn't even deserve to be remembered"

Whilst I uttered my consolation, I could see that Sidharth was trying his best not to snort when I said that I understand his reasons for resenting his grandfather but all my thoughts get wiped when he looks at me with an amused smile.

"What?" I ask innocently and watch him flop down on the bed, taking me with him as he laughed, throwing his head back. His gorgeous smile were now on full display and his laugh was just so contagious, I followed along too.

"Dad used to call him 'miserable shit' all the time" He keeps on laughing but I stop.

"Sidharth, I really am sorry for saying if you have a half-brother or not. I mean, I didn't want to accuse your father of being a cheat-" Before I can finish that sentence, he cuts me off.

"It's alright Shehnaaz. I have no clue about whom you're talking but just know that my father is anything but a cheater. He loves my mother blindly. I don't think I've ever seen them fight except for the times when my dad would go all possessive on her" He rolls his eyes at this and I chuckle.

"However...there might be a possibility that Grandpa..." Before he can finish, he shakes his head, and weirdly, his expression changes from thoughtful to playful and within seconds, he has me pinned down underneath him within a flash of my eye.

Is this man bipolar?

"Whoa-"

"So, you were saying something about seeing a lot of men ?" He says with a playful expression but I know better than he's anything but happy when I spot that dangerous glint in his eyes.
My smile instantly turns wary when I realize how artfully he steered the conversation's topic but instead of commenting on it, I decide to play along.

"Well, half of the people in this world have brown eyes, you know..." Not being able to resist his body pressing on top of mine, I reach forward to grab his face and pull it down to my mouth. He instantly responds to my kiss and spreads my legs with his hand.

"Waking up to you in the morning certainly has its advantages.."

Then suddenly my phone starts ringing.
With an annoyed expression he looks at the nightstand and instantly his face grows serious. I look at him confused and then my body goes rigid when he says, "It's Rohan"

I quickly scramble up as he gets off me and picks up the phone, moving my disheveled bed hair away from my face.

"Hey man, is Neha ok?" I say worriedly over the phone as soon as I press receive.
"She's out of the coma"