Fitoor

19 | Trap at the labyrinth

Shehnaaz

I feel tears welling on the corner of my eyes and my vision becoming blurry and soon look down to hide the hurt creeping in my eyes away from him. I try to bring my shaky hand to stifle my sob that threatens to break out from my throat.

If only anyone had the slightest clue on how pathetic I felt at the moment.

Gone was my fierce attitude.

This is exactly what I was afraid of. I knew that Sidharth was capable of hurting me but I never thought that it would be this hard to take in. It felt almost like someone was piercing a knife in my chest, twisting it over and over again to spread the pain, and soon the shortness of breath followed in its wake.

It wasn’t like I was hearing these kinds of words for the first time; in fact, I was used to it. Yet, Sidharth saying it all out loud made the reality sound so... painful.

Sure, I bought this all upon myself when I decided to anger him to distract him. Now I felt like it would’ve been easier if I just told him the truth.

Huh, who are you kidding Shehnaaz? It’s better off these ways. Move on! You’ve been there before.

With steely resolve, I stand up and watch him look at me with concern and guilt. Before he can speak up, I hold up my palm as a means to silence him which miraculously works, and murmur “I need to go”

Before I can cross the threshold of his study, he strides towards me and captures my wrist in a death-like grip. I don’t turn around to look at him because I know that I’m gonna break down once I do.

“I don’t remember dismissing you Shehnaaz” He whispers dangerously close to my ear. His touch breaks my insides even further because this might be the last time we'll be this close and deep inside I know this was probably for the best.

I take in a deep breath which is mixed with natural air and his muscular scent as he is still pressed behind my back. The hairs of my skin raise in attention as his breath fans my left cheek and I close my eyes to savor this moment for the last time.

When I finally open them, my decision is made and I muster as much courage I can and turn around. It takes all my power to look up at him and watch his cold expression which is currently busy studying my face.

“This was meant to end from the start Sidharth. I’m nothing to you and neither will I ever be. I’m sorry but I can never tell you the truth and I promise that I won’t let Sameer distract me away from focusing on this project. You also didn’t say anything I didn’t know and hearing it over and over again was the last straw” I speak with hurt lacing my voice.

With that being said, I face away from him and pull the door handle to exit his study. I wander past the hallways blindly with my arms wrapped around me in a protective gesture as soon as I hear echoing sounds of footsteps behind me. Without thinking, I widen my pace to get away from him.

“Where on earth do you think you’re going?” I hear Sidharth’s thundering voice with a hint of panic as he calls up behind me.

I stop momentarily without turning back and say “Anywhere away from you”

Even at such distance away from him, I hear him inhale sharply at my words as if they pierced right through him.

I almost run towards the back door of the castle and slower my steps when I don’t hear him following behind me anymore.

Hopefully, he got the hint. Even though I was the one to tell him to leave me, it still hurt because once again I fucked up and I loathed myself for it.

’At least I didn’t need my meds this time’! think begrudgingly.

I step outside the vast property which shone brightly underneath the soft glow of the moonlight. The air was a bit cold but felt good nonetheless as the gentle breeze hit my skin.
I saunter towards the graceful marble fountain statues of a woman wearing a toga whilst pouring water.

As soon as I do so, I spot the famous
labyrinth that Neha and I passed the other day. We both roamed around the outside edges but refused to go deeper because it was massive and we could easily get lost.

Without any warning from the heat of the moment, I impulsively enter the enormous greenery and despite the dimmed yellow lamps on either side of the entrance and inside, spreading a tender glow so that one doesn’t get lost, the darkness of the night still empowers the light as I keep walking almost blindly further into the maze.

I feel a dog barking from somewhere nearby and instantly freeze as I chastise myself for even coming here.

Just like that, I felt like one of those girls from the horror movies whom I called dumb for acting impulsively and look at me now. Karma was a real bitch for sure. Shuddering, I walk further into the maze in hopes of reaching the other side.

After a few minutes of walking listlessly, I reach a wide circular clearing.

This place was relatively darker than the whole maze that I have roamed and was surrounded by the white roses which made the scenery look like something picked out from a fairytale picture book. I take note of the view, planning ways on how to use this type of idea in Irisfield ballroom where the auction dance will be held. The mere thought of work seemed oddly weird to think of. It was almost as if I was on a vacation but given the last few hours, it feels more like a soap opera.

Everything was going all fine until Sidharth of course decided to burst the bubble and make the whole experience miserable by bringing up the past.

Speaking of Sidharth, it hurt to even think of him right now. All his words keep playing on my head like a broken record on repeat. He did not say anything that I didn’t hear from numerous people before. But they were just people. It hurt a lot coming from Sidharth and I knew why. As each second passed away, I felt like
I was falling for Sidharth Shukla who was still a practical stranger whom I met just Some days back.

What did I even know about him? Other than the fact that he owns all the properties where I’ve set my foot so far and that he is fond of his grandmother whom he never met.

And suddenly it hits me; I really don’t know the man at all.

And yet I feel so deeply for him. I care about his opinions like a child seeking approval from her parents. Right now I feel like I did a huge crime by walking out on him even though he deserved it. My past was a secret that I would love to never reveal. If only I could erase what I did, I would.

As I keep walking aimlessly, I lose my footing as soon as I step on the grass like patches that were in the center of the maze.

I let out a large shrill scream of panic as water engulfs me and pulls me down underneath the mossy grassed surface.

Fucking shit! If I die, no one would be even able to find me and for fuck’s sake I don’t even know how to swim!

I scream violently as much as I can with the water muffling my voice and almost making me choke on it. As I find a hard surface beneath me, I try to balance on it to reach the edge of the ground or whatever that was in my life of vision with my hand but instead I find myself falling back again as my feet slip off the hard surface.

Never in my life have I ever felt this terrified as my vision starts getting blurry and my head gets all dizzy from the lack of oxygen.

The last thing I remember before blacking out is the distinct shouting of two men as I feel myself getting lifted from the coldness of the water. I stare into familiar chocolate brown eyes as my eyelids finally give up.

____