Fitoor

21 | Care

Shehnaaz

I stay immobilized with shock as his cold demeanor slips off slightly and the picture of vulnerability takes its place.

It bemused me severely because he looked so... fragile

I felt my chest feel heavy with unnamed emotions as I stared at him and decide to remain silent. After all, I really had no wish to watch him crumble because I know it will break me to see him like this, knowing that I’m the one who made him visit a part of his memory lane which he desperately wanted to part with.

However, he mistakes my silence as persistence for him to go on and continues with his saying “The whole castle used to be dark and hauntingly scary when I was born. My parents couldn't leave because my grandpa was sick and wanted to be with his children before he died. I was the firstborn and for some reason, he wanted to mold me in his own sick ways. He used to lock me up in this very room when I was four and I never told my parents a word about my fears. Almost a year passed away with grandpa telling me to keep quiet and to embrace my fear of darkness by locking me in my bedroom whilst lying to my parents saying that he sent me out to play with the nanny. One day, my father suspiciously decided to check up on me inside my room and found it shrouded with darkness with the curtains closed and my hands cuffed to the bedpost.
He was enraged with fury and gave grandpa a piece of his mind. After that incident, grandpa died a few weeks later from a heart attack and transferred all his property to me. After a few years, my mum and dad moved out of France and shifted back to India after finding that mum was carrying my younger brother, Varun. I think that was the happiest day of my life” He finishes his tale with a faraway look.

“You were so young...” I trail off saying because I really had nothing to say or no words of comfort to provide him.

I couldn’t even pity him because I knew that was the last thing he needed and also because I couldn’t even relate to him. Sure I had my ups and downs in life but it wasn’t until I was 16. On the other hand, Sidharth was just an innocent child when he was corrupted from his joy because of his cruel grandfather.

“I really don’t know what to say because I’ve never been in this type of situation Sidharth.” I offer him my word of honesty and judging from the look of relief and ease in his expression, I can confidently say that I did the right thing.

“I understand what you’re trying to say Shehnaaz and I’m glad that you don’t pity me” He looks down with profound sadness as he says the last sentence.

Just like that, I feel my heart breaking at this sight. Seeing him so broken and exposed made me regret prying information about his past.

“How can I pity you, Sidharth? You were young. You and I both know that no child deserved the way your grandpa treated you and this isn’t even your own fault” I say genuinely.

I wanted to fake sympathy but I couldn’t because he didn’t deserve that. From the look on his face, I could tell that he was not used to telling people about his past which even made me doubt if Ahaan even knew about it or not.

“Ok enough about me. I think you should really eat. I particularly didn’t know what you liked so I brought mushroom soup with prawn and chicken fry. I hope you like it” He smiles at me sheepishly as he goes towards the bedside table to fetch the tray holding the food.

I smile widely because I was indeed hungry and also because anything with mushrooms and chicken was my favorite.

“Well, what can I say? I have a huge weakness for anything as long as it contains chicken in any form” I laugh while saying as I stretched out my hands towards the tray.