Hurt |L.S|

16

Harry's PoV:

Why are mornings so exhausting? You need to get up and ugh, just annoying. Wait a second what? Why is there something warm next to me. So warm. So cuddly. Hmm, you can snuggle right into it. Let's just go back to sleep.

"Harry, I'm not a pillow, you sleepy dork."

"UAH!" Why is there somebody in my bed and why do they sound like Zayn. And why do they laugh like Zayn. And why is this person laughing? I nearly had a heart attack! Slowly I start to remember the previous day but not anything after I fell asleep on that couch the second time.

"Sorry, Harry. I didn't want to scare you like that."

I feel that he's not serious, he's always enjoyed scaring and pranking me, so I just groan.

"Could you maybe let me go so that I could get lunch?" Lunch? Why lunch? Is it that late already? I know Zayn sleeps long but I slept until lunch time? That happened the last time before... you know... the thing with me and Louis happened. I just hope I didn't give anything away last night.

"Zayn, mate, why exactly are you in my bed, not to be rude. I enjoy your company."

"Your management, side note they seem really nice, booked us the last three rooms in the hotel. But we are four and you are the only one with a double bed. So we wanted....

Zayn's PoV:

...Louis to come here, seeing as you were really comfortable but he declined and sent me." As I see how much he tensed up when I mentioned Louis' name I think he did the right thing with sending me to sleep in the same bed.

"Ok, good."

Well that was not the answer I expected but it probably has a connection with the mention of Louis' name. I think I'll go down to the others and ask him if he will join us for lunch.

"Harry? Will you please come down to get lunch with us all?"

He seem reluctant but finally agrees. He lets me use the bathroom and get dressed but then shoos me out of the room. Not that I blame him. I hope he wants us to come on tour with him. I loved the concert yesterday. But I don't want to push him, I'm pretty sure he still knows about telling us this evening. I don't know why it's difficult for him to decide. It it because of Louis? Is it because of us? Is he afraid he'll not be able to focus anymore? I don't get it but it's his decision.

Harry's PoV:

At least Louis has some manners and didn't accept to sleep in the same bed as I did. I don't even want to touch him. I ignore the voice deep down saying "of course he didn't want to sleep next to you, you know he's disgusted, you're just afraid, you would love his touch".

I need to get ready for lunch. I need to prepare for the show. I need to make a decision because of the boy's question. I need to talk with management. I need to call Olivia. I need to... Fuck. That's going to be a hell of a day. Let's do the most unpleasant thing first and call my lovely, lovely girlfriend. Yes, once I loved her. I thought "yes she's the one" but not after I saw her in bed with someone from set. She doesn't know I know and I don't have the heart to break up with her. I don't like breaking up with people. I just wait until they break my heart. So for the last three months it was just pretending, pretending and pretending for me. Positive is that I train my acting skills throughout the whole day.

"Hello Olivia"

"Hey Harry, love. How is tour going? I saw pictures from the concert yesterday, you looked ravishing."

I'd like to puke. There's another reason why I don't want to break up with her. Sometime she seems full of love, like right now, and compliments me and shows interest in me. Then in other moments she just snaps at me, verbally abuses me and just makes me feel down. But every relationship is like that? Right? Right!

"The tour is lovely. My fans are incredibly supportive and god I just love them. They dance with me and have fu-"

"You know they only love you because you look good, right? Nobody would come to see your untalented ass on stage being all "gay" and "oh, all people are beautiful" and "send love to everyone". You know that, right?"

I heard it so many times but it still hurts. It's the fucking truth. They either see me as a womaniser or just come to my show to say "I was at a Harry Styles concert. He's so hot. Even better in real life." I'm not attractive. I don't like my body, my face. The only thing I like about me is my hair. That's ok, I guess. And I feel sorry because people buy tickets to endure me being all gay and they don't even like the music. (NOT my opinion!!!! I discovered One Direction's/Harry's music before the actual artists and I love the music as much as the artists.)

"I know, Olivia. I need to go. Have a nice day."

"Bye Harry, love. I love youuuu."

I just hang up the phone. I can't take that shit today. Great, now I sit here on a hotel bed, head in my hands and would like to cry or take my razor. But no, I'm clean for one week and I'm trying not to destroy that but the boys here... it doesn't really help. It reopens old wounds. Another reason why I should say no to them touring with me. But I know it would be good for me to talk things out and make up with them, maybe even be friends with Louis again.

Let's just get lunch and maybe I'll know after that what I will tell the boys. But first I need to find the hotel's dining room. I'm actually quite surprised that no one already noticed that I'm with the boys. It's not like we are exactly hiding it.

--------

Ohhh, I finally found it. I was on the wrong floor, stupid me. Not even clever are you. I slowly open the door to the room and put a smile on my face before walking over to my best mates.

"Took you long enough, Harry. Fell asleep again?"

"Nope, Zayn. I just had to sort things out."

I see that he doesn't want to push it but he wants to know more. He was always really good at reading emotions and just reading people in general.

"So guys, what happened yesterday? I literally don't remember anything apart from you asking the question and falling asleep again. You could've just kidnapped me and I wouldn't even know it until you tell me."

Louis thinks I didn't notice but I saw the glare he sent the other boys and it makes me feel uneasy. Did I do something bad yesterday in my sleepy state of being?

Liam saves me from my misery:

"Louis carried you to the car and plane, there you cuddled up with Zayn and then Louis carried you to the hotel."

I turn on my heels towards Louis. If my eyes could burn they would be on fire right now.

"You did what?" I spit into his face.

3rd person:

Well one person definitely missed out the glare that Louis sent.

Have a nice day <3
~N
02.08.22