My Sunshine, Her Stars (Re Upload)

Always

Ok guys massive TW for Sexual Assault. In the past year I've been SA'D twice. The second time was far worse than the other and in all honesty, I'm still dealing with heavy PTSD. If you or anyone you know is/has experienced this or any form of harassment/assault and are struggling, please contact RAINN. I don't know if its a world wide support system for SA survivors but it does work in the US. You are not alone. And please please do not read the one shots containing SA if this is at all triggering to you. Theres plenty more Cissy and Eda content in this story for your enjoyment. Ok A/N over.

The last thing I remember was Narcissa's voice, not soft as usual, but panicked and heartbroken as she uttered the words, "listen to me, I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna take care of you. You're ok. I've got you darling. I've got you.". And then everything faded to black. And I awoke in my bed in my staff quarters at Hogwarts with my favorite person in the world holding me tight against her. She wasn't sleeping. No. She was crying.

"Cissy?" I croaked, causing her to jolt and cry even harder.

"Oh Eda! Thank Merlin! I... I was so worried about you." She stammered, pressing kisses all over my face.

"Cissy... what happened?" I mumbled.

She was still crying and furiously trying to wipe her face as she held me tightly to her chest.

"You were having a panic attack. You were in the corridor when I found you. All the students were surrounding you watching and I tried to get to you before you blacked out but... I'm so sorry I wasn't fast enough Edaline. I'm so so sorry."

I wrapped my arm around her and squeezed her just as tight.

"Narcissa... you have nothing to apologize for. I'm so sorry I wasn't honest yesterday. Something bad did happen and I've been getting PTSD and..." my voice cracked.

Narcissa tensed.

"What happened my love?" She asked seriously.

I knew by her tone I had to be honest with her. Taking a deep breath, I let it all out.

"Uhm... well... I was sexually assaulted... and I don't have the right to be upset because all he did was slap my ass... but it was at work... and I... I've had men pray on me from a young age and I... Oh god Cissy! I was so scared. I saw him today and I just want to forget everything! Its bringing back memories from my childhood that I didn't want to recall. I don't know what to do." I stammered out, trying not to cry. she held me tighter and rubbed my back.

"Oh Edaline... I'm so sorry. I promise this will not go unpunished! I will make him pay. I swear it. I love you so much."

"I love you too." I whispered.

We laid together in silence for a while until the soft snores of Narcissa alerted me that she was asleep.

Narcissa. Oh Narcissa. The only person who made living tolerable. My best friend in the whole world. But even she couldn't stop my head. My talkative head. Making me fall in a downward spiral that seemed never ending.

I could feel myself about to cry. To let it all out. But the thing is, even after a cry like that, I still feel awful. Usually crying helps people. Makes them feel better. But not me. I could never seem to get happy. I could fake it. But I could never truly be happy. Being around Narcissa was the only thing in my life that brought me joy. But she's better off ditching me. She deserves so much better than I can give. I'm... I'm a mess. An unfixable mess. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve anything. Quite honestly, I'm better off dead.