151. What Life Do I Want To Live?

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Jeon Junu

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Jeon Junu

Junu walked to the school during a bright colorful twilight, in shock at how the alcohol changed his sensibilities.

Wow, those clouds look like cotton candy. Oh, the river is pink. I want to draw them.

He liked the lightness of his head, of his body.

My hands are almost not mine.

Sadness took over him as he was looking at bright clouds changing colors into dark menacing blue of the night. All his young short life he had to be always poised, always on his best behavior. Painfully suppressing his feelings to the point he had trouble having any.

I do not want to go home. I want to stay here and lay down on the grass. Be in the dorms. Living life.

...

He changed into a tight uncomfortable uniform he so utterly hated. Slowly, automatically, buttoned it up. It felt like sliding the lid of a coffin to bury himself in a deadly darkness. The cloth scratched him on the skin.

His chauffeur was waiting.

"Good evening Mr. Jeon. Did you have a ..." The driver's eyes inspected Junu's messy colorful hair. He had seen the clean-cut chestnut-haired boy in the morning.

"... an interesting day?" The driver carefully commented and raised his eyebrows at Junu, looking at him in the mirror.

"Actually the best day." Junu smiled back at him, enunciating slowly in a clumsy attempt to cover his drunkenness, having unusually pink cheeks.

The driver was here every day, discrete, silent, observing his life. Junu liked this man.

"I think your parents will be occupied, maybe I can tell them you felt extremely tired?" the man offered out of nowhere, looking into Junu's eyes.

"Ehm, that would be nice. Thank you." Exhausted, Junu leaned back in the seat.

Better if they don't see me now. He giggled to himself.

Letting the drama unfold itself in the morning.

He quickly got out of the car and lazily walked to his room. Nobody greeted him.

Of course, they only care about the art. The future. Not random school days.

He showered again and inspected his hair closely. Squinting his sleepy eyes, making them focus on the colors.

This state of mind is too much fun.

Yeah, mum will throw a fit about it.

I'm not a small kid anymore I want to be my own person.

He fell asleep thinking about what he could be.

Free.

Myself.

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