No one else but you (Book 3. of „Only you")

I can feel you

Lizzie POV

I watched the door shut and my attention went back to Nora immediately. I can still feel the confusion and tension that lingers in the air. It surrounds me and Nora. She is silent. No word has left her beautiful mouth and I don't know what to say either.

I walked to the window and opened it to let in some fresh air. I let lose of my jacket which is still hers but she didn't say anything about it so I guess she's fine with it. I can't even recall on how many things i have in my closet that are from her.

Wearing them made me feel close to her especially on days where I felt at my lowest.
„Did they yell at you?" I asked trying to find out if she had a calm conversation or not. It would honestly surprise me if they didn't.

„No. Nobody yelled." she told me and I nod as I got closer to sit down next to her.

„I would have put them into their places if they did." I answered and she chuckled.

„I kinda felt that when you came in. You already looked protective when you saw them."

„Sorry. I can't help it. I start to see red as soon as someone wants to hurt you." I explained myself and she smiled at me.

„It's okay. I appreciate it Liz." she replied and I couldn't help but to smile back.

„I hope you acted the same way with my kids."
She told me jokingly but took it to serious and started to nod eagerly.

„Of course I was and still am. The little toddlers grew to me so fast." I replied and she smiled wider now.

„You have no Idea how thankful I am that they had you while I wasn't around. Heck they grew so much on you that they call you mama."

„If you want to I can make them stop saying it. You are their one and only mom. You are irreplaceable."
I told her and she shook her head gently.

„Look I can't change what they feel. I wasn't around for a while and they needed a mother. To my luck I chose you and it turned out that you fitted perfectly for them. I am not here to be mad about the fact that my kids opened up to someone else. Someone other than me. They got attached and if i say that you aren't their mama... that would be messed up for them. Because they think and believe you are. And that is okay. I am not gonna pull them away from you after you helped me more than I could ever ask for.
I will forever owe you something for that."
She answered and I had tears in my eyes for the fact that she isn't pushing me away from them.
I really thought that she would be extremely protective but it looks like she realized how attached we became to one another.

„Oh now I made you cry again. Please. Don't waste any more tears on me. I am here and I am not going anywhere." she cupped the side of my face with her right hand and I leaned into it. Her hand was so soft and gentle like a pillow filled with feathers. Her thumb wiped away that one tear that rolled down my cheek. She caught it and she wiped it away as if she embraced that tear.

„The tears that fall for you are the ones I love the most." I whispered to her.

„Those salty tears shouldn't fall at all dear. I don't want to be the reason for them."

„Those are bitter sweet tears. Because I still have moments where I don't believe that this is real.
That you actually sit here conscious. How you talk to me. How I can hear your breath and how I can look into your eyes. But most importantly.
I can feel you. That warmth that rests on my face while you let your hand rest there. I never thought I'd feel you again. Feel this comfort I've been seeking for so long." now I was the one who brought tears to her eyes and she moves her head to her shoulders to wipe her own tears away.

„I've never had anyone say something so beautiful to me." her voice was teary and shaky and this made me cry even more.

„After all this time we had together it still feels like we come together for the first time." the tension surrounded us but this was not a dreadful tension like it was before I walked in. No. This tension.. felt comforting and warm. Relaxed and gentle. It filled our lungs with joy and especially mine.

„Beautiful isn't it?" she asked and I nod.

„Indeed. It is. You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen. I don't wanna hear anything against my comment. I will stand my ground." I defended myself and she chuckled.

„God I can't wait to go home. I am really sick of this place." she changed the topic and I let it slide because I felt how she got a bit scared that I might make a move. Even though I would have wanted to.
I know she isn't ready and she still doesn't remember everything.

„Me too. Your house has missed you. It's so empty without you." I answered and she smiled while she leaned back into her pillow.

„They apologized." she caught my attention as she meant her siblings and stepmother.

„Ain't no way they did?" I asked and she nod.

„hell yes they did. But I don't know what to think about it." she told me and I noticed that she feels unsure.

„How come you feel this way?" I asked as I leaned back into the chair.

„I don't know if they do this just because I am not dead. Or if they do it because George told them to do it. Or if they just want to wash their bad behavior clean. Is it because of me being in such a situation? Or is it really genuine? And do they really mean what they say?" she bombarded that situation with questions and I didn't know that it bugged her so much. I thought she hated them and that she never wants to be around them.

„I think guilt has never left their body and even if you forgive them with time which is of course your choice only. I don't think that why will not have a day where don't feel guilty."

„So what do you think? Should I forgive them because they feel guilty?" she asked me and I shrugged my shoulders.

„This is up to you my dear. You are the only on who can give them the forgiveness they need."

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