No one else but you (Book 3. of „Only you")

Drive home

Narrator POV

„What else is it that you are exited about?"
Lizzie asked further not realizing that she might have hurt Nora by saying what she said before.
Nora still wants Lizzie around. Even though she doesn't remember her fully she feels like she needs to have her there.

„I just wanna be back in my own house. Feel the wooden floor under my feet again. Hear the birds outside when I prepare the lunch boxes for my kids. Sitting in my hanging swing and watching the Natur in front of me bloom. Uh and I wanna chop wood again so bad." Nora replied and this was a really thoughtful and genuine answer which made Lizzie smile even more.

„That sounds amazing." Lizzie answered and Nora hummed.

„It is." she agreed with her.

„But I don't think you will be able to chop wood so soon. Your body is still recovering." Lizzie reminded her and she looked to her side seeing the crutches beside her.

„Yeah. But I will get back on it." She tried to encourage herself by saying that. Because she really wants to get back to normal. Well not the normal that other people might think off. Because she won't be normal after billing her children's father.

„I am really glad that you are back Nora."
Lizzie told her out of nothing after they had a silent moment.

„You are?" Nora asked what made Lizzie chuckle unsure.

„Are you doubting that?" she questioned as she looked at Nora while they had to stop in front of a red light.

„No I was just.. thinking out loud sorry."
She answered trying to get herself out of that situation. But Lizzie couldn't shake the feeling off that something is bothering Nora.

„I mean if you really think that I would like to know why? Did I do something that made you doubt me?" she asked and Nora shook her head.

„No. I am just questioning a lot of things. Especially after everything that has happened I can't shake the feeling off that I am free. I still have a lot of things on my shoulders and..."

„You're scared that I might leave you?" Lizzie ended the sentence for Nora and silence filled the car. Lizzie pulled her attention back to the streets since she heard someone honk behind her.
She rolled down the window and showed her middle finger after she drove off. She hates being disrupted. Especially in tense situations.

„A voice in my head tells me that you will leave at some point. I don't know why this doubting voice is bugging me so much. I don't even remember it all. But a part of me tells me that the mess isn't over. Maybe I am better off alone. I don't want you to get into any trouble... with Robbie. I mean you've been married to him for... I don't know for how long. But I don't want you to throw a marriage away just because of someone like me..."
Nora rambled while she was playing with her rings around her fingers.

„Someone like you? What do you mean by that?"

„I am a mess Lizzie. I am broken and that not just physically. I feel like a terrible mother. I killer someone. On top of that it was the biological father of my children. How am I supposed to tell them? Will I ever tell them? They will hate me forever if I do and i can't lose them. How am I supposed to handle someone like you on top of it?"

„You are overthinking. Take a deep breath come on." Lizzie placed her hand on Nora's thigh for a short moment.

„You are not a bad mom. All of this isn't your fault. You tried to protect me and yourself. Your kids are better off without Victor. He would've caused so many problems not just for you but also for Chase and Quinn. Regardless if you are a mess or broken or whatever. I will stick beside you. Time will show if you will tell it your kids. I wouldn't do it now. They wouldn't understand because they are to young." Lizzie answered her overthinking questions and Nora staid quiet.

„I'm sorry." Nora spoke up quietly and Lizzie's face frowns.

„You have nothing to apologize for."

„No I do. I've dragged you into all of this. I shouldn't have. I placed such a weight onto your shoulders when I was gone for those months."

„Nora if it wasn't for you I'd probably would be dead by now. You decided to jump in front of me that day and I will never be able to thank you enough for the courage you had that day. It was outrageous. The kids helped me a lot when you weren't around. They even reminded me of you."

„Their laugh. The way they express themselves.
All those story's they've told me. They remind me of you. I look at them and I see parts of you in them. You are an incredible mom. They love you tremendously." Lizzie wanted to change the „they" into a „we" or „I" to let Nora know that she isn't just being loved by her children. That this loved goes and grows beyond them. It flames in Lizzie's heart to. This is what kept her alive and warm when Nora wasn't there.

But she can't say that. At least not now. Nora is still handling to much and putting such a heavy meaningful sentence onto her might let Nora pull away even more from Lizzie and she doesn't want that. Besides. She needs to remember everything first and Lizzie doesn't know how long that will take.

„Thank you!" Nora replied letting her hand rest on Lizzie's thigh now. She squeezed it lightly as she thanked her and Lizzie couldn't help but to smile.

„Anytime."

„I am scared of seeing a part of Victor In my children one day.. it will probably happen. But I don't know how I will react towards it and it terrifies me Liz.." Nora announced and Lizzie understands her concerns.

„Maybe there are some good things about Victor too..." Lizzie told her but she was highly doubting that. She always saw the bad things in him.

„He is ambitious. I remember that from our college time. He's consistent when it came to doing his tasks especially in sports and I remember that he always went to his grandmas grave every Sunday to lay down some fresh flowers. So I guess there was something good in him."

„See? That sounds good. Maybe your kids only have the good things about him in them. You won't know until you find it out. So it's okay. You'll be fine and know you will handle it with grace. No matter how things turn out." Lizzie told her as they started to drive through the woods now.

This means that they will be home in any minute and Nora's face lit up cause she will finally be home again. Home where she belongs. With Chase, Quinn and chestnut...

...