one shots - thai BL/GL

8 ; akkayan (the eclipse)

trigger warning: angst & suicide
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akks pov

ayan and i have been in love for several years. we had a strong bond and had always supported each other through thick and thin.

but because my boyfriend suffers from depression and anxiety due to his uncle's suicide, it started affecting our relationship. ayan became distant and withdrew into himself, leaving me feeling alone, sad and helpless.

even when i tried my best to support my boyfriend, our relationship began to suffer and it felt like i was losing him. ayan's mental health got worse and he was struggling to find joy in anything.

"i'm sorry, my love. i can't do this anymore. i can't be in a relationship while i am battling my depression. i think i need some time apart to work on myself and try to overcome my depression," ayan said. i could see in his eyes that he was suffering.

i was heartbroken but i understood that ayan needed space. i didn't want to stand in the way of ayan's healing so i let him go. i hope that with time and therapy, ayan would be able to heal and we could reunite stronger than ever before.

months went by and i didn't hear a word from ayan. i even tried to move on but i find it difficult to let go of him. i miss him terribly and i can't imagine my life without him. i tried to reach out but ayan didn't respond to any of my messages or calls. i was so worried and anxious, wondering if he was alright.

"i'm sorry, darling. aye is now with his uncle. he was unable to bear the weight of his depression any longer." ayan's mom told me with tears in her eyes.

he has taken his own life.

i was devastated. i failed ayan by not being able to help him. i couldn't even say goodbye or that i love him. but ayan knew. he knew, that i love him more than anyone else and i always will.

i was left to pick up the pieces of my shattered heart and try to move on while knowing that the love i had shared with ayan will always be tinged with the sadness of what could have been.

it feels like he took a part of my heart with him, leaving me alone in this cruel and dark world. i am forever haunted by the knowledge that i will never be able to see him or hold him again.