Jaspar One Shots (boyxboy)✔️

Goodbye

I take a deep breath clearing my throat as I lay the roses on the ground. I sniffle looking at the words etched in front of me Caspar Lee 1994-2019

"I can't believe you're actually gone we only had four years together Caspar. I know I'm lucky that I got to have anytime with you but it doesn't feel like it was long enough. Everyone misses you the fans the gang your family my family. Your mum is staying with me right now your sister as well it makes it less lonely but the bed is still cold without you."

I wipe my eyes but it doesn't help stop the tears from streaming down my face.

"Why couldn't that idiot have stayed home and not gone out drinking. You might still be here I wouldn't have to face life without you. My best friend my soul mate, remember when we first moved in together how we played all those silly pranks on each other? I would give anything to go back to that time things we're so easy I had you to myself."

I touch the glossy stone my heart breaking as I feel the texture. A simple gray stone with a tiny pizza etched into the top. He once told me if he died before me to make sure there was one in the corner.

"I feel like you're still here with me I get a whiff of your cologne and I think maybe this is a dream but I know it's not true. It's been a week since you left us and yesterday you were buried beneath the cold ground under an old willow tree. I promise I'll keep it tidy and looking nice for you. I don't know how much longer I'll keep doing YouTube I just don't have much strength it seems anymore. This past week without you has been hell I just want it all to go away and for you to come back."

I bite my lip taking a shaky breath as I lay down next to the pile of dirt. My hand laid on the bump in the ground here he is buried.

"I wish I was in your arms right now that way you could kiss my lips whispering how everything will be okay. But it won't be okay I'll probably never be okay again how can I be okay without you? How can I face this life without my Caspar by my side."

I sob holding onto the tombstone and I feel drops of rain fall on me. I soon become soaked shivering in the cold and I feel a hand on my arm. I turn seeing Emily tears running down her cheeks and I hug her sobbing in her arms.

"I want him back we didn't have enough time with him."

"I know darling but we need to leave you're going to get sick out here and we don't need that."

"I don't want to leave him."

"I know you don't I don't want to either but we need to get out of the storm."

She kisses my head and I shiver shaking as I stand we keep our arms around each other. I look back towards the grave and I rub my eyes thinking I see Caspar he blows me a kiss before disappearing.

"I love you."

I whisper softly blowing a kiss back.
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I hate writing imagines like these omf it's sad :(