My Step Brother's Obsession - Carly #2

Ethan Holingway

This is Ethan's point of view of how he's grown up and how he has suffered in his life. There is mention of disabilities and self-harming. If these topics are too close to the home, please don't read on.

~

I've grown up knowing one thing: I was never wanted by my father.

My mother struggled to bring me up alone. I may as well say alone, my father was a military sergeant major. He was in his squad in the army.

What most of them didn't know was the mistake he and my mother made the only night they both gave to fate gave in their sexual desires and when they both made the biggest mistake of not using a condom whilst being shit-faced drunk.

Yes, one mistake that came out of the night. Me. The bastard son. The bastard son he never asked for wanted. But, got stuck with.

Everyone thinks he's a hero, but to me, he's just a sperm donor, a sperm bank that he's willing to give away to anyone who throws themselves at him.

My mother is one of them. I'm not even sure if I'm his only child or not, but what I do know. I'm an illegitimate child, neither of them wanted but got stuck with nevertheless.

I'm an outcast, a kid no one wanted. Especially HIM. I'm a social outcast. No friends, no prospects at all because of my shitty life and HIM.

Everyone in his squad looked up to him and wanted to be just like him, not me. No fucking way. He's a disappointment. He's not worth my time or worth the title dad, he'll never be one to me.

He'll be forever the spunk bubble that made me. He's not worth shit. He blatantly told my mother he was only doing the right thing by both of us by sticking around to provide for both of us and to make sure that I grew up in a stable environment, how fucking considerate of him

My mom was happy he had decided to be in both our lives until he came back home drunk one night and spilt the truth: that he wasn't with her through love, just pity. And the fact she had not taken his advice to get an abortion because he wasn't ready to have kids. That stung, but the real kick to the balls was when he told her he'd only ever been in love with one girl: Hope Evans, but he'd left it too late because she'd fallen for the guy she was there to stand up to, to stop the bullying, and it had. After all, she'd fallen in love with him.

He was so fucking bitter that he had never got his chance to talk to her and tell her how much he was in love with her, cause that bastard had brainwashed her into thinking he loved her.

His babbling of bullshit went on all night and mom shed so many tears, even after that, when he kept reminding her of why he was there.

I hated him so much for making my mom feel vulnerable and unwanted, but I guess in the end she deserved it because they'd made me feel like that my whole life too.

I rebelled when I went to high school. None of the teachers had been able to control me since I was four.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at five. My sperm donor had made sure I had. I also had dyslexia.

The sperm donor thought that was a good time to push another nail in. By telling me, I would never account for anything having disabilities that we're bound to get in my way and hindering my full potential.

That made me want to crawl into a hole and die. I have been self-harming for around fifteen years to make the pain go away that he's caused. He made me feel so worthless. I didn't see the point in making him think anything more.

I've been expelled more than I can count on both hands and feet. I never fit in anywhere, not until I was shipped here when I was sixteen. I had a posey/gang in school.

I wasn't a bully as such, but everyone feared us, especially me, and I've continued that fear here apart from those I chose to be by my side.

My sperm donor sent me here to understand more about myself. Why was I doing the things I was doing, what respect means, what it means to take orders and abide by them?

I understand we have a competition with the other camp this Easter. Carly Evans is there. The daughter of Hope Kingsley or better known around here as Hope Evans; the founder and the person that ruined it all.

My father has told me to respect others as well as him and my mother, but respect is earned not given and they don't deserve my respect, none of them, especially HER.

She won't know what's hit her when we meet face to face. She'll wish she had never been there or met me: Ethan Hollingway, leader of the camp here and the long-reigning champion.

I will win fair and square this time. She's got one chance against me and that's no fucking chance. I'm called the champ for one reason. I'm a devious son of a bitch that never gives in and, if need be, I will play dirty.

She's going to be a fucking pushover and by the end of it all she'll be begging to go home. They always do.

She won't be any different. Believe me, she'll be leaving with her head hanging low and her tail between her legs (metaphorically speaking).

I can't wait to meet you, Carly Evans. Soon you'll be face to face with your worst nightmare and you'll be face to face with the devil.