Desire

Chapter 73

It was quiet. In the Sully house.

Neteyam had gone to sleep, Neytiri had gone off to work.

Kiri was at the hospital.

Tuk was out with her grandmother.

And Lo'ak?..

Lo'ak hadn't been home in a month.

Jake is walking through the hallway, walking past Lo'aks' room. Only for his heart to tell him to stop.

He stops his steps, looking straight towards Lo'aks' bedroom door.

So many questions running in his head.

How? When did this start?

When did Lo'ak start having the idea of wanting to hurt himself and why did Jake not see it?

These questions only made Jake hate himself more and more, as he continues to stand and look at Lo'aks' bedroom door.

He has never once stepped in.

Was this the time? Was this a sign?

Maybe that is why his heart told him to stop.

That this was the door he needed to open, to get all his answers.

His palm touched the doorknob, as Jake grasps onto it quite tight.

It feels like it's almost burning him, as he turns the knob and opens it, slowly.

He takes one foot in, and then the other.

It felt like he was committing a crime. Walking into that room.

Knowing, that Lo'ak did not like people going in his room, to touch his stuff.

But his stuff had not been touched in over a month.

It felt so dark and empty.

The bed sheets had been done, and his bed was tidy. Which was thanks to Aneysa, as she had been looking after his room.

Not a single thing was touched.

Jake makes his way around, as he notices Lo'aks' guitar, leaning against the bedroom wall.

He walks towards it, picking it up, as he makes his way to Lo'aks' bed.

As he sits down with the guitar in his hands, he begins to remember the times that Lo'ak had played. How he hit the notes so perfectly.

Despite the fact that he hated it.

But the more he thought about it, the more he realised. It was not hate. It was envy.

He was envious that, Lo'ak had the chance to do everything that he wanted to do. However, Jake was forced into this.

He was forced into growing up and becoming a man. Taking care of business.

His childhood days were never great.

His father was never around, and his mother would spend nights out, before coming home completely wasted, with a different man every day.

All because, she did not have his father to satisfy her. He was too busy for her. For Jake.

And he had to live with it.

And despite being the child, he had looked after his mother, more than she looked after him.

At the age of sixteen, he had finished his Sophmore year, ready to start his Junior year.

With all the ideas he had in his head, of what he wanted to do.
He was so excited to tell his father.

But the only thing Jake ever remembered was the beating he had got from his father.