THIRTY-FIVE

475 10 3
                                    

TW

BROKEN;

The winter nights were cold and the only thing that kept me warm was Draco's favorite sweater.

I held him close to me while he smelled his essence; a mixture of mint and his favorite expensive cologne. My eyes were sore and raw from crying, the red sheets on Ron's bed were stained with my tears. Ron has slept on the couch for a few days to give me privacy, which made me feel even more horrible.

I couldn't stop thinking about Draco. I was so used to waking up with his beautiful face, his hoarse voice in the morning and his slightly narrowed eyes due to the daze, that it felt bad to be without him at this moment. "Amara," Ron gently knocked on the door. Breakfast is ready."

I sat down and put the sweater over my head. "Thank you," I murmured in a low voice before he nodded, moving away from the room. I cleaned under my eyes as I went down the stairs, the sweet and soft smell of pancakes filling my nostrils. But I felt bad. I didn't want to eat and the idea made me want to vomit. "Good morning, my dear." Molly tells me cheerfully, putting a plate in front of me while I take a seat. "I'd like to talk to you, if you don't mind."

I arched my eyebrows while she sat next to me, no one else was downstairs yet.

"Ron told me about your ... incident in which you got hurt," Molly begins, her eyes soft and comforting. I became rigid at her words when she grabbed my hands, squeezing them." And about your family life. I think the best thing you need is to take a break from school and focus on yourself."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

"You can stay here and study independently," she offers, making my eyes enlarge. "Only for the rest of the year, and then you can go back to the seventh year to finish it. I'm worried about you, my dear." She tells me seriously, looking at me with pity.

"So what do you say?"

I wouldn't see Draco for a long time, and maybe by then... I must have forgotten. That's nonsense. You can't overcome love so quickly. But it was the best solution. I didn't think I could handle the overwhelming pressure of seeing him again, and I needed to do what was best for him. And that was marrying Astoria, to ensure her well-being and financial stability. I couldn't let him risk his life for me. I would never forgive myself. And I knew that if I went back to Hogwarts, he could convince me to be with him. Because she was desperate and undeniably in love with Draco.

And that was the problem.

I looked at Molly, feeling my words stutter.

"Okay," I choked, feeling my throat close. "I will do it."

---

"Are you fucking crazy?" Ron yelled at me, after I told him what I planned to do. I was already packed to return to Hogwarts tomorrow since the winter vacation would be over. I chewed the inside of my cheek when his blue eyes opened, a look of astonishment on his face. "You can't just run away from your problems, Ames. What will you do next year? Do you somehow manage to avoid classes with him?"

I let out a sigh, running a hand through my hair while we were in his room." I don't know." I spoke in a frustrated tone. "But I can't go back, and you know why. I can't see him and he can't see me."

"You're torturing yourself, Ames." He spat, shaking his head. "But I guess I understand," he added, his voice becoming softer. I looked at him as his mouth twisted to the side. "If that's what you want, then it's okay."

It's not.

I wanted to run to Draco, let him comfort me and tell me that he would be with me forever. I wanted to drown in those ocean blue eyes, and capture his warm lips in a kiss that didn't mean I had to say goodbye to him. I nodded my head, pushing my feelings away. "It's the best way."

"I'll miss you," he swallows saliva, giving me a hug. I shudder at the action, but then I slowly wrap my arms around him.

My head sank into his shoulder when I realized that I would miss him and my friends too. I would miss the dining room, kicking Draco's foot under the table, sneaking out at night, eating Ron's chocolate frogs and studying with Hermione. I would miss it all. But as I said;

I would do anything for Draco.

"You deserve to be happy," Ron gave me a sad look. "I don't exactly like Malfoy, but I know he makes you look more alive. I wish I could help you both." He told me the truth and I shrugged my shoulders.

"I guess ... we're just not meant to be."

"Bollocks," he snarled. "His father with greasy hair is just a pain in the ass. I bet if I lit a match near him, his whole bloody head would catch fire."

I felt a small smile grow on my lips, a slight laugh passing through them. "I made you laugh," Ron hits my shoulder gently, rolling my eyes. "Yes, yes. Anyway, Weasley." I laughed when he wrapped his arm around me.

"Come on, I still have one more day left here."

Ron decided that it would be good if we made cookies, and I was cutting the butter for the oven. While holding the knife in my hands, I began to have memories of what happened, looking at the medal. Everything would end now if I... "Hurry up, Ames. That butter won't be cut by itself now, will it?"

I jumped at Ron's words, causing the knife to fall out of my hands." I'm sorry," I murmured, lifting him up again. I kept cutting the butter, but my mind wandered again. All the pain and suffering would vanish. I would be at peace. No more Draco, no more sadness. And then I saw it. Draco, standing in a white light. "Just do it," he encouraged me. "Then we can be together."

I felt like I was going crazy, and I think I was. "Do you like it?" Ron's voice got me out of my trance. I looked at Ron, knife in hand. "You're looking at the butter with a creepy smile." He frowned and I blinked quickly. 'It doesn't matter..-butter is enough."

He saw how he mixed it with the dough, realizing something.

I needed a break.

SL*T Draco Malfoy by RomanshomeWhere stories live. Discover now