SL*T Draco Malfoy by Romanshome

THIRTY-EIGHT

ASTORIA;

I was unpacking my things in my bedroom, nervous about walking down the corridors. I folded the last piece of clothing I had in my drawer, inhaling deeply. It felt good to be back. Then I remembered that I was supposed to meet Draco in the hall, so I made sure my hair looked decent. I pulled down my skirt and went to look for the blond.

When I left my Hufflepuff bedroom, I ran happily to the Great Hall. My eyes blinked back and forth as I searched frantically for him, but I couldn't see him. I felt my smile fade a little when I finally found it, but he was talking to a girl. I didn't recognize her, but I immediately noticed how beautiful she was. His green eyes were surprisingly dazzling, and his long brown hair reached up to the middle of his tunic. She was taller than me, which made me feel anxious.

I saw how her hand touched Draco's shoulder and I quickly began to walk towards them. "Draco," I said, making his eyebrows rise. His eyes are fixed on mine in a surprised way. I looked at the girl, raising my eyebrow. "And who are you? I've never seen you before."

The girl's eyes are drawn in a smile with tight lips, almost as if she was trying to contain herself so as not to push me to the ground. "I'm Astoria Greengrass," he held out his hand to me to shake it. "It's a pleasure"

"Are you joking?" I waited, looking at Draco. He swallowed saliva when I turned around, starting to move away. "Fuck, Rockwell wait"

I didn't stop walking, I didn't even know where I was going. I was angry with myself for not even listening to him, but I came here for him and he is talking to Astoria. I felt my breathing start to get irregular as I tried to go faster, but then I felt his finger grab my wrist. "Can you let me explain to you..."

"Explain what?" I scream, grateful that there were no students in the hallways. The feeling of sinking in my stomach had returned. "Why are you talking to the woman you're supposed to marry?" I narrow my eyes and see how the jaw tightens. "I just got back and I want to leave."

His lips were firmly together, my words made him angry. "You're fucking childish, do you know that?" He threw my wrist away from him, making me stumble. His nostrils widened when his eyes darkened. "I told you countless times that I don't love her, and are you still jealous?"

And then I said it. I said something superficial. "What can I expect when you spent the whole year sleeping with other girls, Draco?" I spit out of pure anger and jealousy, watching his face fall. But as soon as that pain developed, he quickly fled and a hard expression formed.

His face was cold. But his words were even colder. "Well, then I'll go fuck her."

And then the waves returned, crashing into me when I felt myself drowning in pain. I felt my face twist instantly, my eyes filled with tears. How could he say that? Memories of last year crossed my mind. Everything. I let out a trembling sigh. "I can't believe you said that." I cried, watching his face soften.

He took a step forward. "Shit, I don't..."

"Leave me alone." I choked before turning around and running away.

"Damn it!" He shouted, as he turned a corner. Then I slid down the wall as he hit me with one hand, tears ran down my cheeks. I knew what I said was horrible, but I didn't have to say that. She knew how insecure she was, especially when she thought she wasn't good enough for him. I felt my figure tremble when I realized that I didn't belong to Hogwarts. I wanted to go back to the Weasleys.

You're not good enough.

You are disgusting.

He doesn't love you.

She is beautiful.

He loves her.

He's with her right now.

I pulled my hair, my thoughts attacked my head. But they were right. She was beautiful. One of the prettiest girls here. And then I realized her robe. Her Slytherin tunic. Did she go to school here? I didn't have any chance. Maybe Draco should be with her. They looked better together than him and me. I was a HufflePuff, scrawny, shy and sweet. She was tall, looked like a model and was confident. She was perfect for him. I was childish, but for him she was a woman.

-------

I wanted to see my friends, but instead, I went back to the bathrooms since I didn't have privacy in my bedrooms. I spent a few hours sitting there, thinking about how fucked up my life was.

Just finish it.

That stupid thought kept coming into my mind, but the more I listened to it, the more I ended up believing.

Wouldn't it make my mother and Fiona happy?

To stop seeing my face.

I looked at myself in the mirror.

Coward.

Why did you have to cry all the time?

You are a child.

A baby.

You can't handle anything.

Poor Draco, he has to be with you.

I cleaned my eyes before leaving the bathroom, feeling like someone was grabbing my arm. I looked up to see Draco, who didn't even look at me. "Let me go..."

He didn't let me finish while he murmured an apparition charm, landing in his bedroom.

Great.

I pushed his touch away as he distanced himself between us, making him open his eyes.

"How was it?" I asked, feeling sick to my stomach. "Was she better than me?"

"Enough, Amara."

"Is she a better woman than me?" I ignored him, feeling my fists clenching. He inhaled sharply as he moved forward, my voice trembled. "I'm fucking delusional to think that you would choose me before someone as beautiful as her. I mean God, why are you even with me? I'm nothing"

"Shut up!" He shouted, making me jump. I opened my eyes to him when he was furious, looking at me as if I had just killed his mother. "Never talk about yourself that way, do you understand? I don't want to hear it." He spat, pointing an accusing finger at me.

"What I did before ... was stupid."

I shook my head. "I'm not pretty enough," I push, holding a hand in my stomach where the scar was. "I don't want to stop you from being with people. Anyone would love you, so leave me alo-."

"Can you list-"

"WHY ARE YOU EVEN WITH ME?" I screamed, pushing him in the chest. "We seem like a joke. It seems that the two of you are made for each other, and we seem..."

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" He shouted, his body was shaking. I froze in place, looking at him with a look of astonishment. He walked towards her wall, resting his arms against her as she lowered her head. He didn't say anything, breathing with difficulty. Then he finally spoke.

"Merlin, you're really stupid, Rockwell."

"Well."

I turned around and opened the door. But then I felt him trapping me in his arms. He looked at me with an angry look, as if he wanted to kill me. I felt my stomach turn when his other hand flew up to my neck, squeezing it. "Since you won't listen to my words, I'll show you." I frowned. "What?" His face got closer.

"I'm going to show you how much I want you."