🎃 |James Bonde| Yep. We're lost. In the fucking woods.

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Requested By: Iris7feb

Tag/s: Platonic, Crack-ish

Guide:
(Y/N): Your First Name
(N/N): Your Nickname


2nd Person's POV

"Well, isn't this just nifty," you deadpanned, staring at the bright blue sky with your whole body hanging on a tree branch and feeling your back about to give out from the force of gravity.

"Haha," Bonde sarcastically mused, grabbing the tree's trunk as he reached for you.

"Very funny (N/N). Now, grab my hand," he reached out to you, making you turn to him and stretch out your hand, careful not to tip your balance.

"I must say, I haven't seen anyone make a car flip mid-air when as you turn. You're really something, Double O' Seven."

"Should I shake the branch instead and let gravity do the work?"


"Thanks," you dusted yourself off as you and Bonde reached the ground.

"Don't mention it," he reassured, fixing his suit as you both looked at Herder's car you borrowed for your road trip.

"Do you think he'll notice?" Bonde asked as you blinked at the car.

It was hanging between branches with the hood completely popped open, smoke coming out, one of the headlights hanging by the wires, and a tire rolling across you and Bonde.

"I'm sure he can dent it out," you waved your hand, followed by a loud bang from the engine.

"...Shall we walk?"

"Nothing like a little nature hike to calm the mind,"

"How long do you think 'till they notice we're gone?"

"Knowing Herder? I'm surprised we made it this far," Bonde chuckled as he moved away the branches, letting you pass through.

"What? Don't tell me you're scared," he teased, making you scoff.

"Of what?" you taunted, making Bonde shrug his shoulders.

"You don't know, maybe someone or something is lurking in the dark..." he quickly moved to the other side, "...waiting for an opportunity to strike," he whispered, making you roll your eyes.

"We kill people for a living. Some shadows aren't enough to scare me," you denied, making Bonde pout.

"If you say so... But don't come clinging to me if you get scared,"

"Not in a million years,"


"Uh... James?" you called out, staring at the landmark you carved on the tree five minutes ago.

"Yeah?" he replied, his eyes not leaving the map.

"Are you sure you know how to read the map?"

"Of course. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, I don't know," you shrugged, "I just think there's a possibility we're... you know..." you shrugged, "The L word?"

"Lesbians?"

"Lost, James. We're lost,"


As you and Bonde roamed the forest, your eyes landed on a dirt path.

"James!" you gasped, shaking his arm as you pulled him to the path.

As you followed the path, you saw a village up ahead.

"Was there a village on the map?" you asked, making Bonde look through it again.

"Doesn't look like it..." he answered, making you hum.

"Let's go ask them for directions," you smiled, marching to the village before Bonde grabbed you by the collar.

"I don't think that's such a good idea..."

"Why not?"

"Have you never read a single horror novel in your life?" he furrowed your brows, making you sigh.

"Then what? Continue to roam the forest until nighttime?"

"So you'd rather enter an uncharted village in the middle of the woods?"

You both stared at each other, waiting for one to give in.

"...Rock-paper-scissors? Whoever wins, we follow and blame for our possible deaths?"

"...Yeah, why not."


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