𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐒, Daryl Dixon

⁴⁶, FAITH AND CHANGE

𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐒.
chapter forty-six; Faith And Change
" She changed something in you, didn't she? "

THE GROUPS RETURNED with an abundance of water and food and rather quickly, the night descended into a scene more like old times than Vex could fathom. They'd set up a buffet of food, opened wine, lit candles; there was conversation and laughter and a brief reprieve from the life they had been living.

But Vex couldn't help to notice Gabriel's distance from the group.

"Not hungry?"

Gabriel looked up as Vex claimed the seat beside him, holding a plate full of food out. The man held up his wine, sipping it as Vex let out a chuckle.

"Never met a priest like you before."

"You're religious?"

"I have faith, yeah," Vex nodded, chewing, "Not like you, I don't think."

"How do you mean?"

Vex stared at him for a moment, before turning to him fully.

"Well, the way I see it," She started, "God doesn't control us like pawns on a chessboard. Never heard the man talk or felt his spirit pushing me toward something. See, I was raised Baptist, went to church every Sunday, the whole thing. . . I also think that the Bible was written a very long time ago, and that a lotta those rules become. . . obsolete."

Gabriel looked somewhere between shocked and interested at her words, so she continued.

"Getting divorced, loving someone that's the same gender as you-- hell, some of the people I grew up with said drinking was a sin," Vex laughed, shaking her head, but she seemed to sober up after a moment, "I was in the military. I've killed people before. I don't think even that makes me a sinner."

"So. . . what do you believe?"

"I believe God is something we can't ever comprehend, not entirely. I don't think he can control us, because if he could, there'd be no 'sin', would there? No wars, no arguments. I don't think half the sins are sins because the world has gotten a lot more complicated than it was back then. . . But I believe there is a reason why things work out. I believe there's a reason why certain people come into your life, a reason why it rains and snows, a reason why the sun shines so brightly. I believe. . . in kindness. No matter what people might think of me, I do. I believe in helping others, and I believe that, at its core, is all religion is about. Helping one another, finding peace in life and death, finding community and love. . ."

Vex blew out a long breath, taking another bite of her dinner.

"I believe there have been many times in my life where I questioned if He was there at all," She admitted, "If He was, why He was lettin' me go through what I was going through. But I remind myself, it's not about what He's doing for me. It ain't. It's about having someone to talk to when you're alone. Someone to thank for the world we have. It's about knowing love even if you don't know it anywhere else. It's about having somebody to make proud, and someone to greet you when you leave this life. At least, that's what it is for me."