Fan Service [Chan]

Chapter 23

Chan and I woke at around noon. We decided to go for another run together. Dimitri trailed behind us, and we went at a much more leisurely pace than we had yesterday. Without my cowboy boots and without the other members, nobody recognized us. We didn't have to be Chan from Stray Kids and his "girlfriend", we could just be two people getting to know each other.

We pulled off into a little country tourist store that Chan spotted mid-run. They were selling shot glasses made to look like cowboy boots, studded and fringed vests, and so much Dolly Parton merch. Her iconic hair and look had been turned into shirts, plates, and anything someone could imagine.

I walked over to a shelf and picked up a black cowboy hat. I put it on Chan, and he flashed a dimpled grin at me.

"Is this doing it for you," he joked with a wink.

"Oh absolutely," I replied and kissed his cheek.

His face turned a bright red, and he reached for my hand. "Only because we're in public, and it's the rules," he lied.

"Oh, of course. I hate holding your hand," I played along.

"I hate holding yours too," he smiled.

He walked us over to the cashier and asked her to ring up the hat as he ripped off its tag.

"Chan I was just playing with you."

"Oh no, Ella," he argued. "If you want cowboy Chan then it is cowboy Chan you'll get."

He paid, and we left the store. He didn't take the hat off the entire walk back. I had to admit that he looked even more charming than usual.

We ran into Lee Know and Han on our way back upstairs, and they teased him, but he insisted that it was "just a good look on him". I couldn't agree more.

We each showered off the workout sweat and then it came time to get dressed for the concert. I waited on my bed for Chan to retrieve the bag of things he'd brought for me to wear as he'd had them leave it on the bus for some reason. When he came back upstairs he looked nervous.

"So..." he began as he leaned against the massive suitcase. "When we first invited you, I didn't like you very much. I was mad at you. Mad at the situation. I was just mad."

"Okay?" I waited for him to fully explain.

"You're not going to like anything in here," he told me, as he slapped the hard shell of the suitcase. "In fact, I'd rather you didn't open it at all and just wore something of your own."

"I didn't bring anything of my own for the concerts because in the contract it said I had to let you choose."

"I can rip up the page. We can go get you something else," he suggested. His secrecy was making me wonder what he could've packed.

"Open it," I told him.

"What?"

"Open it."

"I'd really rather not."

I rolled my eyes and walked over. I waved him off of it, and he backed away. I looped my finger through the zipper, pushed the suitcase to the ground, and pulled it open.

"What the hell?" I felt sick at what I was looking at.

Everything was see-through, short, or designed with intricate and revealing cutouts. The fabrics were leather, mesh, or see-through lace.

Chan tried to close the suitcase, but I held it open as I took it all in.

"You would've had me dress in clothes more revealing than anything I've worn in my life, all because of a situation you got me into?" I felt angry. I felt horrified. How could he have been so cruel?

"Again, I was mad, but we can just go get something else for you. There's tons of places around here."

But I wanted Chan to feel guilty. I wanted him, knowing what he knows about me now, to see the way he would've hurt me.

"Pick one," I ordered.

"Ella, you don't have to wear those."

"No, I'm the same person you were going to make wear them, so pick one."

"This is a joke, right? You don't have to, so why would you?" he argued.

"Seems like you went through a lot of trouble picking out dozens of outfits for me so pick one."

He stood frozen. Unwilling to choose.

"You must have a favorite." I picked up a see-through long-sleeved green and burnt orange mesh dress. "Is it this one?" I rummaged through several tops that were no more than bras and picked up a black lingerie bodysuit. "Did you imagine me wearing this?"

Chan gulped, and I picked up the flared black mini skirt that would cover maybe half my ass.

"Was it meant to be paired with this?"

Chan looked at what I was holding. "Ella, please don't..." he began another apology, but I cut him off.

"I'll wear this then."

I slammed the suitcase shut and went to the bathroom to change before he could attempt to spew any more bullshit. How could I have even considered being with someone willing to treat me so horribly just a week ago?

I was delusional. I'd only seen what I wanted to see. I'd wear this tonight and remind myself of who he really was...

The black lingerie was lacey and sheer with darker mesh on the sides and back. This was fortunate since it hid my bruising from being kicked...

Every bit of my breasts was visible through the sheer fabric, and I wanted to throw up as I imagined wearing this in front of, not only Chan but every fan and in every photo that might be published. My family would see it...

The skirt was short, flared, and had a silver buckle on the side that held it together above the thigh slit...as if it needed to show any more than it already was. Nearly my whole ass was out. If I bent over, everything was visible since the bodysuit was see-through there too.

It looked more like he'd gone to a site for strippers' costumes than like he had actually chosen clothes for me to wear in public.

Nothing against strippers, but I get panic attacks when someone touches the skin on my hip. People seeing me like this might very well make me pass out.

I stared at myself in the mirror. There was so much visible skin... I felt sick. I had only just willingly shown a guy my chest in a bra for the first time this week.

Was I really going to let everyone see me so exposed just to prove a point?

I felt like I had to.