Fan Service [Chan]

Chapter 12

Felix, Seungmin, and I made it to the hotel and the driver and security loaded my things into the bus.

I looked out at the fans waiting to see who was in our car. There were barricades set up this time but there had to be hundreds here to witness the send-off.

My chest tightened, and I couldn't catch my breath.

"I can't do this," I told Felix.

My eyes stung, and I felt myself start to cry.

"Ella, I promise you'll be okay," he reassured me. He gently placed his hand on mine.

I looked up at him through teary eyes.

"You can take my hand, and I'll guide you and Seungmin will come in behind us to make sure you don't get separated this time."

"What if they break through the barricade?"

"Then we'll make a bubble around you," Seungmin replied. "We'll keep you safe."

"Just breathe for a second," Felix encouraged me, and he wiped my smudged makeup from under my eyes.

"I look horrible," I managed a laugh.

"No you don't," Felix argued.

"You look beautiful," Seungmin complimented. "They're just jealous."

"Okay," I began and took a deep breath. "Let's do this."

Felix nodded and got out first. He held his hand out for me and Seungmin stepped out last before grabbing my hand so he could stay with us, too.

The crowd cheered and shouted at them. Cameras flashed, but I kept my head down and focused on keeping up with Felix.

In the midst of the cheers, I heard people calling me a "slut" again. I winced at the word but continued on.

The closer we got to the bus, the more aggressive people became about my being there with them.

"Homie hopper!"

"Ugly bitch."

"Attention whore."

Both Felix and Seungmin squeezed my hands to let me know that they were there for me. My eyes became teary, but I continued to face the ground so that the crowd wouldn't see.

Finally, we reached the tour bus and Felix bounded up the steps quickly. I followed after him as fans shouted even more objections and insults behind me.

I tried to head to the bathroom to cry alone, but Chan stood in my way. He looked angry but not at the fans. No, he was mad at me.

"Did I not specify clearly enough what was and wasn't friendly touching?"

"Please, let me get by," I sniffled.

"What the fuck is this, Ella?" Chan shouted at me and turned his phone around to show an image of me with my hand on Seungmin's earlier when he'd made the little girl cry.

"I didn't do anything wrong," I argued through tears.

"You're holding his hand!" he yelled and with his voice raised, Felix came to my defense. He put his arm on my waist as he stood behind me, and I winced in pain.

"She didn't. She tapped his hand after he made a kid cry. Can you not yell? Can't you see how hard this is for her?" he defended me and Chan snorted.

"For her?"

"Yes, Chan. For her. Did you not hear what they were shouting at her?"

I just wanted to go sit in the bathroom and cry away from everyone. I tried to move past Chan again, but he stepped in my way.

"What did they say?" he asked.

"Nothing," I mumbled.

He waited for Felix to provide him with an answer. "They said she was a homie hopper. And they slut shamed her again."

Chan's face turned red and he pushed past me. Seungmin put a hand on his chest before he could go outside.

"Not right now, man. It'll make it worse."

Chan scowled but listened to him.

I turned and headed to the bathroom. Felix followed after me. "You don't have to hide from us. I'm here for you."

"I know," my voice cracked, and I closed the door before a full-body sob erupted. I sat on the closed toilet seat and my abs hurt from how badly I cried.

I'd made a mistake by agreeing to this. I wasn't strong enough to deal with this amount of criticism every day. But what choice did I have? Even before I had called my clients to let them know I'd be on an extended leave, several had already asked to be released from their contracts.

"Are you okay?" Felix asked from outside.

I couldn't hog the only bathroom forever. I opened the door, and he held out his arms for me.  I let him hold me but flinched when he squeezed a bit too tightly on my sides.

"Alright, let me see," Chan ordered as he walked towards me.

"I'm fine," I told him.

"You're literally in pain just being hugged. Let me see."

"Chan, no."

He moved forward, and I took a step back into the bathroom. Though he wasn't doing anything inherently scary, I felt afraid. I knew he could see it on my face.

"Will you at least let Felix take a look?"

Felix gave me a soft smile, and I nodded.

"Fine," Chan stomped off to sit beside Seungmin.

Felix joined me in the bathroom and closed the door. "Is there a reason you don't want Chan to see?" he asked in concern.

"I just don't feel comfortable with him," I explained. It was a short answer for a much larger issue, but it would do.

"Okay. Glad you feel safe with me, then. Thank you for trusting me," he smiled.

I was glad too...glad to have someone I could rely on during this trip.

Felix lifted the hem of my shirt and I raised my arm so he could drag it up my side completely.

I closed my eyes and avoided the mirror.

"How bad?"

"Can you take your shirt off? I can't see it all the way."

I swallowed nervously but nodded and removed it. I tried not to think since I felt so anxious. Felix spun me around and examined the bruising.

"How bad is it?"

"I'd be surprised if you didn't have a broken rib," he informed me.

I risked a peak in the mirror. My entire side was covered in hues of purple and blue. Felix touched my side lightly, and I recoiled in pain.

But then I looked at him, and when his eyes met mine, I gave him a small smile.

"What?" he asked, and I nearly laughed at my own ridiculousness.

"Don't make fun of me," I demanded of him in exchange for my secret.

"I won't," he looked so serious that it made me even happier.

"You're the first boy that I've ever let see me in a bra."

Felix grinned proudly at my admission. "I'm honored."

Chan would've probably made fun of me. 27 and that inexperienced? He'd have made me feel
bad about myself.

But I was pleased with myself. I'd come so far.