Fan Service [Chan]

Chapter 59

The next couple of days were a blur. Chan and I went to the beach even though it was still a little chilly. He danced around and splashed in the freezing cold water.

We laughed so much over the last few days that I almost forgot about what we were meant to be returning to... JYP still loomed over us. Agent Branson hadn't had any movement, so there was nothing the guys could do yet.

The pill still sat on the counter as I was unsure of what I wanted to do with it. Chan had tried (and failed) to initiate sex, but until I was sure of whether or not I wanted to take the pill, I wasn't ready to be intimate with him. I was sure I'd overthink and end up having a panic attack again.

Once I communicated that, he understood, and we cuddled and enjoyed spending time together in other ways. We had one more evening here before we had to fly to Phoenix for the concert early tomorrow morning.

"Are you all packed?" Chan asked. I nodded and slumped onto the couch beside him into his waiting arm. I was going through the photos we had taken at the beach and smiled at how cute he was.

"I think you forgot something," he muttered.

"What's that?" I asked, distracted by his pictures.

He pointed at the counter so that my bracelet wouldn't hear him.

I put my phone down. "I haven't decided yet," I reminded him.

"I know. That's why it should be packed."

I'd spent the last couple of days wondering what was the right decision for me. I wanted the future he saw. It sounded wonderful and perfect, but the realist in me wouldn't let me believe I could be so lucky.

Had I really spent nearly a decade in sexual and mental turmoil only to end up having a perfect situation with the first guy I could actually trust? Or maybe because I could trust him it meant we were destined for more. I didn't know.

I got up and put the pill into my backpack. "Bringing it doesn't mean I'm swaying one way or the other," I told him.

"I know," he answered. He looked hopeful though.

"How are you so sure that you want this so soon?"

"Ella, I just know," he said sweetly, and in the same certain tone he'd used every time I'd asked him that.

I sat back down next to him and fiddled with the bracelet on my wrist.

"I'm sure it'll be over soon," he comforted me.

"That's not what I was thinking about," I kissed his cheek. It was endearing that his face still blushed when I did that.

"What were you thinking, baby?"

"I was thinking about how important it was that you gave this to me."

Chan undid the clasp and walked over to put it away in his backpack since he could tell this wouldn't be a JYP-safe conversation. "I'll get you a new one once this is all over," he kissed me gently as he sat beside me.