Regina & Maleficent
Regina: Mal?
Maleficent: Yes? What is it?
Regina: I need your help with something.
Maleficent: Explain.
Regina: My mother, you know, the crazy lady? Well apparently she has this whacked out idea that Lily is my daughter. So she's locked me in my room with magic until I answer her questions.
Maleficent: And where do I come in with this?
Regina: Tell the old bat I'm not Lily's father.
Maleficent: I can't.
Regina: And why the hell not?!
Maleficent: Because I don't lie.
Regina: ...Dragon, you better explain this and I mean right the hell now.
Maleficent: Look! I'm not entirely sure if she's yours or not. I got pregnant during our rough patch.
Regina: So you're saying there's a possibility?
Maleficent: Possibly.
Regina: Great. Just what my mother always wanted.
Maleficent: A granddaughter?
Regina: To be right. When I get out of here, we need to talk.
Maleficent: I agree. About several things.
Ursula & Cruella
Ursula: Are you still mad at me?
Cruella: Yes. Very.
Ursula: Aw Cru, I was just trying to keep the peace.
Cruella: You know I loathe that idiot.
Ursula: Yes but here we can't just fight whenever we feel like it. We're supposed to be good.
Cruella: Says the fish who strangles people with her tentacles.
Ursula: Watch it. Or I'll use them to do other things.
Cruella: Is that a promise, dahling?
Ursula: Come home and you'll find out.
Cruella: Only if there's a glass of gin waiting for me.
Ursula: Would there be anything else?
Cruella: I knew there was a reason I married you.
Ursula: I love you too, silly.
Charming & Hook
Charming: Pirate.
Hook: Prince.
Charming: Don't start.
Hook: You're the one that's starting this, mate.
Charming: Look. When was the last time you saw Emma?
Hook: Earlier today, why?
Charming: Because Gold said she stole a bottle of his truth serum.
Hook: Did it happen to be the color purple?
Charming: Yes...
Hook: I knew that rum tasted odd. Bloody hell!
Charming: Care to fill me in?
Hook: She tricked me into drinking it- Oh no.
Charming: What now?
Hook: I divulged my darkest secrets and desires, thinking I was drunk!
Charming: Is the serum still working?
Hook: I'm not sure. Ask me something.
Charming: Do my jeans make my butt look fat?
Hook: Yes.
Charming: Well then...jerk.
Hook: But in a good way!
Charming: Save it!
Emma & Neal
Emma: Hello Neal.
Neal: Why do I get the feeling this isn't going to be a fun conversation?
Emma: For once you're actually right about something.
Neal: What do you want?
Emma: So you and Hook, hm?
Neal: What are you talking about?
Emma: I heard you two like to have a little too much fun.
Neal: Meaning?
Emma: You two spy on me around town when you get bored!
Neal: Oh, that?! We stopped doing that weeks ago.
Emma: What?
Neal: Yeah. You got too predictable and boring so we picked someone else to follow.
Emma: Who?!
Neal: Blue Fairy.
Emma: What the hell? Why?
Neal: Because she's shady as fuck. I think she's the cause of all our problems.
Emma: Seriously?
Neal: Yeah. You're welcome to tag along the next time we go out.
Emma: I don't- But I'm not boring!
Neal: Yeeeeah...you kinda are. But it's okay. A woman your age with a teen son, you were bound to get stuck in a daily routine.
Emma: I'm trying so hard not to be insulted right now but you aren't helping.
Neal: Every day at noon you stop at Granny's for a cup of hot cocoa and a bear claw. You sit for 20 minutes and read the newspaper before going back to the station for the rest of your shift where you just sit at your desk.
Emma: I hate you both.
Neal: We know. And we accept your love.
