Rumple, Belle & Neal
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Rumple: Son, Belle and I have something to tell you.
Neal: What's up guys?
Belle: We're going to have a baby...
Rumple: Now son don't get hysterical.
Neal: A baby? Like, a human baby?
Belle: Yes?
Neal: How is that even- OH EW!
Rumple: Bae, focus! You're going to be a big brother and we're going to need all the help we can get!
Belle: And don't think we'll love you any less.
Neal: Guys, you can relax. I'm happy for you both. Congratulations!
Rumple: Really?
Neal: Really. I'm excited to be a big brother.
Belle: Oh Neal, I'm so relieved.
Rumple: I love you so much son. My first born. Nothing can ever change how much I love you.
Neal: I know Papa, I love you guys. I gotta go meet Emma and Hook for drinks. I'll talk to you later.
Belle: We love you too! Have fun.
Neal & Emma
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Neal: HELP ME!
Emma: Neal?! What's wrong?!
Neal: My parents....
Emma: What?! What happened?
Neal: They're having a baby!
Emma: Seriously?! I wish you were here right now.
Neal: So you could hug me?
Emma: No! So I could slap you in the FACE! That's a good thing! You should be happy for them.
Neal: But it's so gross! To think they actually had..
Emma: STOP! Stop right there! I have my own issues I'm dealing with! I don't need to be reminded of them!
Neal: Oh that's right, I forgot you walked in on your parents twice. Pretty funny.
Emma: It'll be pretty funny when I kick your ass. Let's see if you laugh at that.
Neal: Love you too Emma.
Emma: Whatever. So are you going to be a good big brother?
Neal: I guess. I mean I am, like 300 years old now. I guess I'm mature enough.
Emma: Doubt it but we'll see. I'll be here to help you.
Neal: You will?
Emma: Of course. You forgot already? I'm a big sister too.
Neal: Right! Little Neal. Aww!
Emma: Don't.
Neal: But the name!
Emma: I'm turning my phone off now.
Neal: See you later cupcake!
Emma: I TOLD YOU ABOUT CALLING ME THAT!
Neal: Tis nothing sweeter than the taste of revenge.
Emma: You're gonna taste the back of my hand in a minute.
Neal: I like 'em feisty.
Zelena & Regina
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Zelena: Green apples are soothing to the soul.
Regina: 1. How did you get my number? 2. How would you know? You have no soul.
Zelena: I have my ways. And I could say the same about you, dear sister. We're more alike than you think.
Regina: Mother gave it to you, didn't she? And I disagree, we're like fire and ice.
Zelena: Yes...But that isn't the point! And you're thinking of you vs Elsa. I don't carry ice powers.
Regina: I swear that woman loves to drive me CRAZY! Oh right, sorry about that.
Zelena: No worries dear, I'm sure she drives you up the wall a lot.
Regina: A lot? Try multiple times on a daily basis.
Zelena: Oh wow. Maybe you should look into putting her in one of those retirement homes I keep hearing about.
Regina: It's definitely a consideration.
Cora: Both of you spinsters can shove it! Insulting me....You should be ashamed! I'm but a poor old woman waiting for death to arrive.
Regina: He couldn't come soon enough.
Zelena: I am not a damn spinster! You old, saggy tit, crazy woman!
Regina: Oh shit...
Cora: What'd you say froggie?
Zelena: You read correctly!
Regina: I'm just gonna go cook apples or something...
Cora: I will beat you with my butter sock!
Zelena: Do it! It still won't make you a mother!
Cora: I cannot believe you! Insulting me! I could have a damn heart attack from all this stress!
Zelena: YOU HAVE NO HEART! LITERALLY!
Cora: Oh right. STILL! Just because I gave you away doesn't mean I didn't love you Zelena.
Zelena: Really?
Cora: Really. I wanted to keep you but I didn't have the money to take care of you. And when I got into power, I tried looking for you but I didn't have any luck.
Zelena: Then this changes everything. I'm sorry for what I said, mother.
Cora: It's alright dear. You're still better than ol' sassy Regina.
Regina: I saw that!
Zelena: What a lovely family moment.
Snow & Charming
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Snow: Dear, have you seen Henry?
Charming: No. I thought he was with you.
Snow: Uh oh.
Charming: Snow! What happened?
Snow: He said he was going to come to the station to be with you.
Charming: Well he isn't here.
Snow: We have to find him!
Charming: Before Regina and Emma do!
Snow: I'll meet you in front of Granny's. We can start there.
Charming: Oh God Snow they're going to kill us. Especially Regina.
Snow: I'll make sure you stand in front of me and the baby.
Charming: Uh, how about no?
Snow: You're the man!
Charming: And?! I still value my life. Y'all are quick to say you can save yourselves but then when something bad happens you turn into the damsel in distress. Forget that shit.
Snow: ......You're sleeping on the couch tonight.
Charming: Damnit!
