Chapter 38

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Snow & Emma

Snow: EMMA!

Emma: 2am

Snow: WAKE UP!

Emma: WHAT?!

Snow: ARE YOU UP?

Emma: NO! IT IS TWO IN THE MORNING NOW WHAT IS IT?

Snow: IT'S AN EMERGENCY! OPEN YOUR DOOR!

Emma: WHAAAAAAT?

Snow: NEAL SAID MAMA!

Emma:

Snow: Emma?

Emma: He said mama?

Snow: YES! ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

Emma: That certainly is. Well mom, I have a word for you too. Two actually. Piss. Off.

Snow: EMMA SWAN!

Emma: MOTHER I AM TRYING TO SLEEP! SOME OF US DON'T SPEND ALL DAY TALKING TO DAMN BIRDS, I HAVE A JOB.

Snow: IT IS NOT JUST BIRDS. AND I WORK TOO.

Emma: THEN TAKE YOUR COO COO BIRD ASS TO SLEEP AND LET ME SLEEP AS WELL.

Snow: WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A LONG CONVERSATION DURING BREAKFAST IN A FEW HOURS!

Emma: I swear on Henry, if you don't let me get some sleep, I'm going to tie you to a chair, gag you, drop you off at Regina's and let her and Cora have fun with you.

Snow: Rude.

Emma: The rudest.


Zelena & Marian

Zelena: My dear maiden.

Marian: Yes, my wicked witch?

Zelena: I have a request to ask of you.

Marian: Does it involve doing something that will probably embarrass us both?

Zelena: Not at all.

Marian: Alright, ask away.

Zelena: There's a box on the bed for you. In it contains an outfit, put it on and meet me at the address written on the note attached to the box.

Marian: Zelena...

Zelena: Just trust me, love.

Marian: Alright. But if something bad happens, you're going to be the parent volunteer at Roland's school for the next month.

Zelena: You know I love it when you get all feisty. But trust me, it'll all be worth it when you get here.

Marian: We shall see.

Zelena: You know you love me.

Marian: Probably more than I should, but yes.

Zelena: Impossible. And unless you want to be tied up later, at my mercy, I suggest you drop that sarcasm.

Marian: And what if I like being at your mercy?

Zelena: Then the sooner you get here, the sooner the night can start and the sooner we can get to that part.

Marian: Already getting ready!

Zelema: I'll be waiting, my archer.


Belle & Rumple

Belle: Rumple, could you pick up some more diapers on your way home?

Rumple: Of course. How's little Annabelle?

Belle: Finally asleep for her afternoon nap.

Rumple: And how's my Belle?

Belle: Exhausted.

Rumple: Then how about when I get home, I run you a hot bath with some scented candles lit and you can relax as long as you want.

Belle: That sounds like the perfect dream.

Rumple: A dream that's going to come true.

Belle: But what about the baby?

Rumple: You don't think I know how to take care of our daughter?

Belle: Of course I do. It's just, she can be a handful, much like her father at times, and I don't want you to be overwhelmed.

Rumple: Belle Gold, you stop that right this instant. Now you are going to relax tonight even if I have to use magic to bind you to the bed.

Belle: Is it bad that I'd actually look forward to that?

Rumple: So my sweet wife has a request, hm?

Belle: Maybe.

Rumple: I think I'm going to close up early. I'll be home in a few minutes.

Belle: I'll be here.


Emma & Regina

Emma: Is it possible to turn my mother into a bird?

Regina: Yes but why would you want to do that?

Emma: Did you really just ask me that?

Regina: Yeah, I realized it after said it.

Emma: She woke me up at 2am just to tell me Neal said his first word.

Regina: And?

Emma: AND? Regina, seriously?

Regina: That's quite a milestone for young Neal, considering who his parents are.

Emma: I don't give two shits if he was reciting Shakespeare, it was 2 in the damn morning and I was asleep.

Regina: You really aren't a morning person, are you?

Emma: Again, really?

Regina: Right. Anyway. You have to understand that your mother was excited and she wanted to share that with her family.

Emma: Fine. But she couldn't wait until a decent hour to do so?

Regina: I think you should give your mother credit. She could've woken up the entire town for that and yet she settled for just you.

Emma: Are you...taking her side?

Regina: What? No!

Emma: You totally are! Something must be wrong!

Regina: Swan, nothing is wrong. Now unless there is a fire, may I get hack to what I was doing?

Emma: Actually I'm curious what you're doing now.

Regina: None of your business.

Emma: Okay so it's definitely not work.

Regina: Miss Swan, what I do is my private business. I suggest you go find some. Perhaps the smelly pirate will suffice.

Emma: You're with someone!

Regina: YOU ARE DAFT!

Emma: AM NOT!

Regina: I'm going to stop responding now. As I stated earlier, I am busy.

Emma: Yeah, busy probably riding a dragon.

Regina: She always was a champion rider. ~Mal

Emma: GODDAMNIT.

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