Emma & Neal
⠀
Emma: NEAL!
Neal: Yes?
Emma: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HENRY?!
Neal: I didn't do anything to him except give him brownies while we were out car shopping.
Emma: CAR SHOPPING?!.....Neal, Henry is high.
Neal: ...Oh no...
Emma: OH YES
Neal: Hook must've given him the wrong brownie.
Emma: Hook?! I SHOULD HANG YOU BOTH FROM MEAT HOOKS!
Neal: NO PLEASE! It was a mistake, I'm sorry!
Emma: Neal...I can't help you because Regina knows and she's told both our parents. We're all in trouble.
Neal: OH MY GOSH I AM DEAD. My father is going to KILL ME.
Emma: You might want to hide somewhere, Henry and I are leaving.
Neal: Take me with yoooouuu!
Emma: Fine, pack a bag. YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES.
Neal: Thank you so much cupcake!
Emma: Don't make me regret this.
Regina, Emma, The Two Buffoons & The Parents
⠀
Regina: Before we start this little conference, I am going to try my best not to yell...
Cora: That's good. We don't need that vein popping out of your head.
Emma: Who starts?
Snow: I think Hook and Neal should explain themselves.
Charming: Yeah. And Emma, you better not have anything to do with this. Wait, where are you?
Emma: I am in an undisclosed location with Neal and Henry.
Regina: YOU HAVE HENRY?!
Rumple: So much for not yelling. What exactly did my son do?
Neal: I didn't do ANYTHING!
Hook: I'm just going to watch...
Belle: Hook! You and Neal come clean right now and tell us what happened!
Snow: And Emma you better not be eating any sugar! You are still on punishment!
Emma: .....Does a donut count?
Snow: How does wearing ball gowns sound?
Emma: Carrots! Eating lots of carrots.
Regina: ENOUGH! EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED TO HENRY!
Cora: Yeah you two, get to talking.
Neal: We're sorry!
Hook: Aye, the lad ate the wrong brownie.
Rumple: BAE! YOU ARE ABUSING WEED?! YOU COME HOME THIS INSTANT!
Neal: I'm scared....
Belle: Neal, do as your father said and come home.
Hook: Poor lad...
Regina: Oh don't you worry about him. You come over to my house Hook.
Hook: Oh no, that's quite alright. I'm just going to uh, stay right where I am.
Cora: YOU GET YOUR PIRATE ASS OVER HERE NOW! You are in so much trouble! Poisoning my first mate! I am going to kick your ass.
Emma: Damn, this sounds so heartbreaking.
Charming: Oh Emma, you can come on home as well. *evil grin*
Emma: Hell no.
Snow: Bring your butt home this instant young lady!
Emma: NO WAY.
Charming: Don't make me have Regina poof you home.
Regina: Because I will gladly do it.
Emma: Neal's crying on my shoulder though.
Rumple: He'll live. He's going to be crying when I am done with him.
Cora: So is Hook.
Charming: You'll be crying too Emma.
Emma: WHAT DID I DO?!
Snow: Oh you know exactly what you did! Does yesterday ring any bells?
Emma: .....It was an accident...
Charming: I highly doubt someone accidentally eats a whole bag of cookies and hides the evidence.
Emma: They were SO good.
Snow: Mhm...well I hope they were worth it. Now do as your father said and come home. Drop Neal off on the way and take Henry to Regina.
Regina: I almost forgot, Henry isn't even supposed to have sweets so he's in just as much trouble as soon as he comes down from that high.
Cora: HOOK! HURRY UP!
Hook: ....Aye Captain.
Belle: Neal, we are very disappointed in you.
Charming: Emma, I don't know what has gotten into you but this behavior will cease after today, do you understand?
Neal: I'm sorry....
Emma: Yes sir.
Henry: I'm not feeling any love in this chat. BUT IS Y'ALL MAD? OR NAH?
Regina: What did I do to deserve this? Lord help my child....
Snow & Cora
⠀
Snow: Cora have you seen Emma?
Cora: Blondie? Nah. I thought she came home after dropping Henry off?
Snow: She was supposed to. Oh she is in so much trouble now.
Cora: Uh oh. Wouldn't want to be in her shoes right now.
Snow: You're quite right. On another note, what did you do to Hook? I'm in need of ideas.
Cora: Who knew you'd grow into a badass, I'm proud. And as for Hook, I beat him with a sock full of butter. And he can't wear his hook for two weeks.
Snow: Thanks. And damn Sam, a sock full of butter? Been watching too much iCarly and Sam & Cat lately?
Cora: Possibly. And he'll be okay, he just has to lay on his stomach to sleep. I can't tolerate disfunction between my crew members. Not acceptable.
Snow: You just gave me an idea! You're the best Cora! Thank you, I'll talk to you later. I need to go tell Charming.
Cora: You're welcome dear. I know I am. Have fun, kiss the baby for me!
Neal, Emma & Hook
⠀
Neal: Guys....
Emma: What?
Hook: Aye, I can't type much, it hurts.
Emma: What did they do to you guys?
Neal: Papa locked me in the Room of Darkness.
Hook: Cora beat me with a bloody sock full of butter.
Neal: Seriously Hook? Dude I'm so sorry.
Hook: Don't worry mate, she said you're next as soon as she sees you.
Neal: .....I'm going to cry.
Hook: I cried. Emma, what did they do to you?
Emma: Nothing....
Neal: Pardon?
Emma: I never went home.
Hook: Lass your parents aren't happy. I just heard Cora tell Regina that they've come up with a special punishment.
Emma: Oh hell no. I'm going back to Boston.
Neal: Emma just go home. We endured our punishments, hell I still have more to go. Just get the shit over with, you'll live. I promise.
Hook: Regina's in on the punishment!
Neal: RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Emma: GODDAMNIT. She'll be able to find me no matter where I go. Shit...
Hook: Don't leave a trail. Leave the country if you have to. Lass she's laughing, it's something horri-
Neal: Hook?
Emma: HOOK!
Neal: Emma, they got Hook....I'm even more scared now than I was before.
Emma: Maybe he just fell asleep....
Neal: I hear Regina talking Emma....Tell Henry I lo-
Emma: NEAL?!
Emma: Neal please! Hook? Anyone?
Regina: Hello Ms. Swan.
Emma: No God please no.
Regina: Oh yes. Your parents have asked that I bring you home. Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. The choice is yours.
Emma: I didn't mean it. Please, I'm sorry for everything. I didn't know that was your favorite vase!
Regina: Vase? MY VASE BY THE- No. No yelling. So you've chosen the hard way. Very well. See you soon dear.
Emma: REGINA NO!
Emma: Can I cry now?
Cora: That would probably help ease your pain...
