Cora, Regina & Emma
Cora: YOU BITCHES LEFT ME AND WENT TO NY!
Regina: Yes Mother, tell us something we don't know.
Emma: We thought you'd have better fun there.
Cora: YOU CANNOT SERIOUSLY BELIEVE THAT. HOW TF IS BEING HERE WITH YOUR WHACK ASS PARENTS BETTER THAN KICKING HOOK'S ASS?
Regina: .....It's not. Which is precisely why we're on our way to kick the pirate and thief's ass and lock Henry away in a tower until he's 21.
Emma: He will be the living definition of a male Rapunzel and I have no objection to this.
Cora: I'm going to cry....I wanted to go!
Regina: Crying and pouting like a child will get you nowhere.
Emma: Nor are we coming back there to get you so you might as well get over it.
Cora: That's how you treat an old woman whose dying wish is to see the big apple?
Regina: Mother, guilt-tripping will not work on me anymore.
Emma: Aren't you like....immortal or something?
Cora: Why the hell would I be immortal? AND WHY THE HELL NOT?!
Regina: Because you're evil?
Emma: And because you're Satan?
Cora: .....Screw you guys, I'm going home!
Regina: You're already home...
Emma: No I think she means hell.
Cora: I AM NOT SATAN DAMNIT.
Regina: You're starting to sound like you are. Just saying.
Emma: It would make so much sense tbh.
Cora: Why don't you two shove some pie in your mouths?
Regina: ...
Emma: ...I hate you.
Cora: Those dots...OML MY SHIP IS SAILING!¡
Regina: No Mother, don't start that mess again! It took us months to convince Henry he wasn't a first mate.
Emma: Please! I can't handle that plus Hook and Neal yelling Viva La Swanqueen every time they see me.
Cora: I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of the wIND BLOWING THE SAIL OF MY SHIP. ASDFGHJKL.
Rumple & Neal
Rumple: My darling son.
Neal: What's up, papa?
Rumple: Where are you? I haven't seen you since family dinner on Sunday.
Neal: Oh, sorry about that papa. I took Henry with me to New York to pack up the last of my apartment.
Rumple: Why didn't you ask me to come? I would've been able to help.
Neal: It's okay, it wasn't a lot of stuff to pack.
Rumple: So you're there packing? And not at a convention with the pirate?
Neal: ...Why would I be at a convention?
Rumple: Because Charming said that's what Hook told him.
Neal: ...I can explain!
Rumple: Save it! You lied to your father for no reason.
Neal: I did have a reason! I'm trying to make sure Emma and Regina remain clueless about what we're doing.
Rumple: A little too late for that.
Neal: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Rumple: He told them too. Cora won't shut up about how they left her here and went to New York.
Neal: THEY'RE COMING?!
Rumple: That's what I just said, isn't it?
Neal: SOSOSOS
Rumple: I'll be seeing you soon, son.
Neal: IN GNNA DIE N CNT STP CYING
Maleficent & Ursula
Maleficent: What's this I hear about your wife skinning Snow White?
Ursula: Apparently Snow lied on her and you know how much she hates that.
Maleficent: That would be why I see her charging down Main Street with a pair of shears.
Ursula: Oh God. Should we intervene?
Maleficent: Or...we pop some popcorn and watch the show?
Ursula: So Charming and Emma could pester us for the rest of our lives?
Maleficent: Damnit, I forgot about the blondes. Fine, let's go stop her. We really ought to do something about that trio of heroes.
Ursula: We'll just spook Snow later tonight after Cruella's drunk on gin.
Maleficent: I think I know the perfect prank too! Good thinking!
Ursula: Thank you. Now let's go! Those heels are high but she can still walk fast.
Maleficent: Right! Meet you at the diner.
Zelena & Regina
Zelena: Uh sis?
Regina: Hm?
Zelena: Why is mother following your stepdaughter around filming her with her phone?
Regina: Anticipating a fight.
Zelena: Really? With who?
Regina: Now that, I don't know. Is anyone else there who looks suspicious?
Zelena: Cruella has a pair of garden shears.
Regina: That's who, then.
Zelena: What the hell would she be doing to Snow with shears?
Regina: I'm not sure and although I would love to watch it happen, Emma wouldn't like returning to find her mother skinned.
Zelena: No, I suppose blondie wouldn't. Shall I step in?
Regina: It would be wise. Tell you what, you can let them fight for about five minutes before breaking it up.
Zelena: Oh now this will be fun. I was going to go home and watch Bad Girls Club but this is going to be much better.
Regina: Please keep an eye on mother, you know how she gets. If she puts up a fight, mention grandchildren.
Zelena: I know, I know. I'm the oldest, remember?
Regina: Vaguely. See you when I get back to town, dear.
Zelena: Ta-ta darling! Hit the pirate once for me!
Regina: Will do.
A.N: Don't kill me for taking so long to update! My class load was heavier than I anticipated but I kicked the class' butt and passed so HA. Now it's back to regular updates each month. You can follow me on twitter so we can laugh and sob over our ships together. WriterOfLeWords is moi, don't be afraid to say hi. As always, thank you for your patience and reading what I write!
