Henry and the Grandfathers
Henry: Why have you guys been blowing my phone up?
Rumple: Henry, you’re alive?!
Henry: Uh, have you been inhaling too much fairy dust over there? Of course I’m alive, why wouldn’t I be?
Charming: Henry, your mother has been on a war path all day looking for you.
Henry: Seriously? Why?! I’ve just been out with friends.
Rumple: No, I have not been inhaling too much dust. And we all know you’ve been with your girlfriend. Your grandmother’s mouth runs like bathwater.
Charming: Hey! Watch what you say about my wife!
Rumple: Not her, dingus! Cora!
Charming: OH.
Henry: If you two are done, I’d like to know where was the last place you say my mom.
Rumple: Belle said after Regina texted her, she saw her headed toward your old castle.
Charming: Where are you?
Henry: Okay. I’m almost home. I’ll be hiding in my closet.
Rumple: Not you too. Son, don’t hide in the damn closet! Hide under the bed like a real coward.
Charming: Or…he could face his mother. She probably only wants to talk anyway.
Rumple: Regina? Talk? HA BLOODY HA.
Charming: It’s possible. I believe she has the ability to not lose her temper all the time.
Henry: I’m sorry but I’m siding with grandpa Rumple on this one. You must be talking about a Regina from another land. Because you most certainly are not speaking of my mother.
Rumple: Atta’ boy. Make me proud.
Charming: This is only going to get worse.
Neal and Emma
Neal: Emmaaaaaaa
Emma: Neal, I swear on the box of cookies I have hid under my pillow, if the next thing you type is something stupid, I will drive to where you are and punch you in the face.
Neal: So that means I’ll get to see you?
Emma: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Neal: I was going to tell you a joke, grouchy pants.
Emma: Fine. What’s the joke?
Neal: How was the skeleton able to know it was going to be a great halloween?
Emma: I don’t know. How?
Neal: He could feel it in his bones!
Emma: Oh my God.
Neal: Funny, right! I know.
Emma: NO. That joke was so damn corny I nearly died.
Neal: I’d like to see you tell a better one then!
Emma: Alright! Why did the ghost cross the road?
Neal: I didn’t know ghosts could cross the road…
Emma: ……I’m going to pretend like you didn’t just say that. Answer the question!
Neal: Oh right. Why?
Emma: To get to the other side.
Neal: Well hell, we all cross the road to get to the other side.
