Chapter 39

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Belle & Snow

Belle: Snow!

Snow: Belle!

Belle: Did you get Regina's email?

Snow: Email? No...what does it say?

Belle: That the barrier around the town has been breached and we need to stay inside.

Snow: Why in the hell wouldn't she send me that?! I was just about to go shopping.

Belle: I think we both know the answer to that.

Snow: ...Damnit. Okay; is Rumple there with you?

Belle: No, he's at the Shop but I told him about the email.

Snow: You and the baby should come over here with Charming and I. I'll warn Emma and Henry.

Belle: Okay, I'll tell Rumple as well.

Snow: Please remind him that he won't be chopping off any of my daughter's fingers. I see how he stares at them sometimes.

Belle: I promise he'll be on his best behavior. He's still a bit upset about the whole incident but he'll be okay.

Snow: I'm an arrow with squid ink on it just in case.

Belle: See you in a bit.


The Queens of Darkness

Maleficent: What is nonsense about intruders?

Ursula: Queenie's panties are in a bunch, apparently.

Regina: You're one to talk, squid.

Cruella: Watch your tongue, hot head.

Maleficent: Regina what's going on?

Ursula: Keep talking and I'll shove a tentacle so far up your ass that I could use you as a puppet.

Regina: I know plenty of people who enjoy the taste of calamari. And my mother has taken down the barrier that was protecting us all and let strangers in.

Cruella: Oh that's just great.

Maleficent: WHAT?

Ursula: I swear, your mother is a one of a kind asshole.

Regina: Tell me something I don't know.

Cruella: I heard talk that Rumple was your real father.

Maleficent: This was not my ideal way of enjoying my Sunday.

Ursula: Would it be safe to assume it's every man for himself now?

Regina: Pretty mu- WAIT WHAT?

Cruella: Could be true oooor could just be gossip. We'll never know, dahling.

Maleficent: Actually, the firecracker's quite capable of finding out in a short period of time.

Ursula: But it was no secret that her mother and the imp had a fling.

Regina: SOS

Cruella: Oh well yes, that much is true.

Maleficent: I think you all broke Regina.

Ursula: She was bound to find out sooner or later.

Cruella: Plus I just love a good family squabble.


Unknown Number & Emma

UN: Congratulations Emma.

Emma: I don't have time for you right now, Casper. Everyone's freaking out and blowing up my phone.

UN: But you should be celebrating. You proved you didn't inherit your parents' idiot-ness.

Emma: Pretty sure that isn't a word and secondly, this is all your fault!

UN: On the contrary, you're the one who used your magic.

Emma: BECAUSE YOU BLACKMAILED ME!

UN: Potato-potatoe.

Emma: I swear on my box of cookies, if anyone in this town that I like gets hurt, I'm will find you and I will kill you.

UN: Ooo, I do so love spunk.

Emma: I should've stayed in Boston where it was normal.

UN: We both know you've never been normal. Face it.

Emma: ...Piss off.

UN: Such a potty mouth the princess has. Have fun. I'll text you tomorrow with another set of instructions.

Emma: Regina's going to kill me...


Cora & Rumple

Cora: RUMPLE!

Rumple: What do you want, demon?

Cora: Everyone's losing their shit talking about I breached the barrier and let in some random people!

Rumple: Why does that not surprise me?

Cora: But that's just it! I didn't!

Rumple: AHAHAHAHA! As if I'd believe you.

Cora: I SWEAR IT WASN'T ME!

Rumple: And yet I still don't believe you.

Cora: Test it! Go to the barrier and see that it's not my dark magic anymore.

Rumple: Fine...I'll humor you.

Cora: That's all I ask.

Rumple: Much to my disappointment, it seems you're right. This is light magic.

Cora: TOLD YOU.

Rumple: And we all know there's only one person in Storybrooke with light magic.

Cora: GODDAMN BLONDIE!

Rumple: Bingo.

Cora: I am going to hang her by that tacky ponytail and beat her with my butter sock!

Rumple: As much as I enjoy a good ass kicking, and this one especially sounds good, I have other things to do. Take pictures for me.

Cora: Deal. Oh blondie, I'm coming for you...


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