Chapter 40

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"She was supposed to pick up the kids and I got a call that she didn't come. I knew something was wrong. Lauren would never do that. We need to find them."

"I have men searching for any answers to where they might be."

"We're running on little time."

"I will kill that bastard"

"The note says they have them but we must wait for the next note"

"If we get there they know they're dead. You don't know what he plans to do"

"What if they're already dead."

That was the comment that brought me back to my senses. I looked around my office to see Christian, Miles, my father, and a couple of my men. I looked at the one who said it. I went up to him and slammed him into the wall.

"Hey, Hey" I heard Miles say trying to calm me down

"What did you say?" I said very lowly as my grip around his neck tightened. He looked scared.

"Sir I'm just saying he may be playing mi- mind games with you. It is a possibility." He said breathlessly

"You know what else is a possibility. Your death." I said tightening my grip. I laughed a little at the idea of it. "No actually, it's a certainty"

I pulled my gun out from my waistband and shot him in the chest. The sound made my ears ring and he dropped to the ground lifelessly.

"Anyone else have comments?" I asked looking around the room and they stared at me

I walked out the room into the backyard. I felt the weight of it all on me.It reminded me of the one at my old house where me and Angel. My Angel. I thought about her. It's been two days since I've seen her. She was just in my arms. She could be de-. I can't even think it. I felt my heart racing and the tears brimming my eyes. The pain was unbearable. I needed it to end. I needed it to go away. I put the gun to my head holding the trigger as my hand trembled. My tears ran down my face. I couldn't live without her. Without her i'm weak. I can't bare to go on.

"Giovanni, son." I heard my fathers voice and I stiffened

"Please don't do this. Please I can't-I can't lose you too. I can't." His voice trembled and I felt his desperation. His desire for me to stay. I still kept my back to him and I felt him inching closer.

"What if she's-" I started but couldn't bring myself to say the word

"We will find her. We will bring her home." He said

"How are you so sure?" I asked

"Because I have hope. I need you to hold onto hope. Don't give up. Don't deny yourself the chance to find her." He said and I closed my eyes tightly as tears fell

I screamed loudly, the scream I've been holding for two days. The two days I haven't slept nor eaten. Nor spoken. I take the gun from my head and put it in my waistband. I wiped my tears and turned around to him.

"Go upstairs and get some rest." He said

"I won't know rest until she's in my arms again." I said to him

"I know." He said and I walked past him into the house to see Christian standing at the front door. He looked just as bad as if he hadn't slept or eaten as well.

"We're going to find them and I'm going to kill him." Christian said to me and then walked out the door.

Miles came out the office behind the private cleaning crew with the body bag.

"I sent everyone else home. I was afraid of more casualties. We're going to find her." Miles said patting my shoulder and walking out the house.

I went upstairs to our room. I sat on the bed and ran my hand over the pillow that she last slept on. I grabbed it and held it in my arms. I ran my nose along the pillow taking in her scent. Her perfume that lingered on the pillow. I breathed it in and found comfort in that. I felt the emptiness of the room and now in my heart now that she wasn't here. It killed me. I laid my head on the pillow and laid there restlessly. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't dare close my eyes and succumb to sleep when she could be in pain. I missed her and I slowly felt my sanity slipping. The longer I'm away from her the more the monster in me threatens to awaken. It wants to do damage. It wants me to go back to my old ways. It wants me to be who I've always been. It wants to resurface. It wants me to be the man that I was before her, before the feelings and before the remorse. It doesn't scare me anymore. I revel in it. I choose to let it happen because it's the only way I'll survive this. It wants me and I want it. But most of all, I want to give it what it wants and it wants blood.

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