Getting away With it

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'We've finished our meeting early.
We will be down to debrief your last mission at 8:14pm EST.
Please inform your teammates
-B'

Dick stared down at the text, horrified, a twizzler held between his lips. "Uh, guys?"

"Ah?" M'gann asked, busily putting eyeliner on Kaldur. 

"Bad news." Dick said. "They're coming."

"Who?"

"The league! They're coming down here in ten minutes!"

M'gann jumped to her feet, glancing around at the living room, scattered with textbooks and abandoned water bottle, all covered in dog hair. "We need to clean! Kaldur, I'll get the Swiffer wet jet!"

"I'll tell the others!" Robin shouted, taking off down the hallway.

Wally was in the lab. 

"Wally! Wally?"

The boy looked up from where crystal clear droplets plinked into a clean beaker. "What's up?"

"Red alert! Pack up shop!"

"The league? But it's only eight!" 

"They finished early!"

Wally had been working on a personal project-- distilling 100% vodka in the lab-- but that meant he was using some machines and chemicals he wasn't authorized to even touch. 

Immediately he closed the distiller, switching off the heat. "Okay, this whole thing needs a few minutes to cool off. How much time we got?" 

Robin checked his phone. "Nine minutes and counting."

"Fuck!" Wally ran a hand through his hair. "Okay, I might be able to tuck it in the hall closet, no one will notice..."

Robin sprinted out and to the hanger bay. Conner was working a blow torch, working on some non-league approved work on his bike. 

Artemis was standing behind him. "Light me up." She held out another pre-roll.

"Sure." Wielding a blow torch, he let the end of the joint.

"WAIT NO! PUT THAT OUT!" Dick shouted. 

Without questing Artemis dropped to her knees, stamping out the end of the joint as carefully as she could. "What is it?"

"The league! Eight minutes!"

Conner dropped the blow torch, He was covered in black grease and oil, and scorch marks. "What do we need to do?"

Dick took charge: "Artemis body spray this whole room until it isn't dank, Conner go clean up!"


Wolf sniffed at the martian's elbow. "Not now boy, we're busy!" She pulled the mop out.

"Hey, you using this cupboard?" Wally asked, wheeling out a cart he'd covered with a sheet.

"Do you need it?"

"Thanks." He shoved the cart into the broom cupboard. 

"Help us clean when you're done!" She brushed past him, running back to the living area, mop in hand.

Kaldur was sorting the books and binders into six different piles for each of them. If he couldn't tell who's textbook it was he picked at random.

Artemis followed her, spraying the light fixture with her collogue. "Kaldur, hold your breath!"

He did, grateful for the warning-- typically perfumes weren't allowed at the mountain because of his fragile lungs, but he understood why she had to cover another stench. To be fair, the smoke wasn't good for him either.

"I'll get the trash on the floor!" The croaked, already partially stoned from the first joint.

"Drink some water too!" Kaldur told her.

"Wolf! Not now!" M'gann said as he lay down in front of the mop. "Go find Conner."

"No! Conner is in the shower!" Artemis exclaimed, but Wolf had already taken off to find his master.


"The oil won't come off!" Conner said, drying his hair.

"You need something oil soluble!" Wally told him. "I'll get the margarine."

He sped off and returned, and the boys began plying the grease marks on his skin with the topping.

Immediately, Walk burst through the door, leaping onto Conner and lapping at the margarine.

"Off, boy! It's bad for you!" Conner forced the dog off him.

"I'll take him on a quick walk." Wally leapt up. "You work on those stains."


The teens gathered in the atrium at 8:13pm. Conner's skin was a bit shiny and Artemis was putting eyedrops in over her dry red eyes, but overall, they looked ready for action

The zeta whirred to life. Tornado, Canary and the mentors exited, chatting amongst themselves.

Batman's gaze swept over the impeccably clean room. it reeked of musky perfume and cleaning substances. It was too perfect. This wasn't normal for teenagers... 

He stared at Robin suspiciously. The boy blinked up at him with rehearsed innocence.

"Well, regarding your latest mission..." The room held in anticipation. "Suspiciously good from your report. It was very well worded, I almost missed the part where you burned down a school bus." Batman stated coldly. There was a ripple of giggles throughout the teens.  "It's not funny."

Kaldur cleared his throat. "Yes, sir."

"Wait, they burned down a school bus?" Oliver asked.

"Yeah!" Artemis replied. "If you've never been inside a burning confined space, you're missing out!"

"You were Inside it?!" He exclaimed.

Kaldur nodded politely. "Yes, sir."  The other kids giggled and whispered between them.

Aquaman frowned slightly, leaning forwards "...Kaldur, are you wearing eyeliner?"

"Yes sir." He said, a little defiantly.

"Why?"

"Because Ms. Martian tells me it's waterproof."

Surprised with the boy's tenaciousness, his mentor shut up.

"Don't you have anything to say or yourselves?"

M'gann raised her hand. "Can we please get more spending money next month?" 

"Do you want to be grounded?"

"No thank you, sir." She giggled. "We just want more team funding."

"You'll have your funding cut if you can't improve your work with it."

Canary cleared her throat. "Actually, bats, we can't cut their funding, Conner and M'gann need to for groceries."

"You'll have your funding reduced if you can't improve your work with it." He corrected. The teens all made sounds of distress and complaint. "Dismissed. Everyone go home."

"Don't worry." Dick whispered to his friends. "I can get into his back account!"

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