Finding Love (Miniminter Fanfiction) -Revising-

p r o l o g u e

-Samantha's Pov-

Tears fell from my eyes as my heart ached from the betrayal. A small piece of his hair was messed up, laying gently onto his forehead as the rest stayed up. He stood straight, his eyes looking at me like I was the one that cheated.

"How could you?" I shouted at him, stepping closer, my index finger poked him forcefully into his chest. He opened his mouth to defend himself, but my anger boomed over his voice. "I loved you. I did. After constantly seeing you hooking up with all these girls, I broke into smaller pieces, but I thought you could fix me again. You never loved me enough to do it Kevin. I cannot believe after all of that I am still standing here, my heart in..." I stopped for a moment as the words melted in my head as everything was cluttered in my mind until I found the right word. "Ruins."

I turned, feeling the heat of my emotions overwhelm themselves as my eyes drained themselves of the tears them held back as I looked at him. Saying more would have made myself cry into his arms for forgiveness, even if I knew I wasn't the one to say sorry.

"Sam." He started. "I am sorry, okay?"

He paused, knowing I wasn't going to face him again, and gently grabbed onto my shoulder. The feeling of him touching me made me flinch, instanrly making him remove it. "I know it wasn't right for me to see Jessica behind your back. But now, seeing you like this, after my mistake, my heart aches seeing you so heartbroken. Sam, I want you. Only you. Imagining my life without you because I screwed up is something I couldn't live with myself with."

The air was silent, no words I thought of were right since part of me wanted to rush into his arms, cry my eyes out, and live a life of happiness with him. But I was fighting hard, knowing that I was already in a dark pit of destruction that nobody could save me in, except myself.

He grabbed my shoulders again, and spun me around to face him. "Please." He pleaded. "Stay with me."

The way he said the words as his the corner of his lips curved slightly, didn't mean anything to him, but I knew that he was lying to me.

"How can I stay with someone that does to me? Who lies? Who betrays me? Who causes me so much pain that killing myself has seemed like a better option than staying with you? I can't. After everything you have done to me, you might as well have a life with Jessica. I don't love you." I said harshly.

I saw his emotions change in his eyes as they darkened with anger. I stepped back, fearing what I have done.

He followed my step back and looked me straight in my eyes as I felt the alcohol breath warm my neck as I tried to move farther away. He grabbed my arm, squeezing it to where i felt my blood pound against his grip. "Kevin." I wimpered in pain.

He smacked me in the face, feeling heat on my cheek from the impact. I looked at the ground of his apartment, seeing the empty bottles he was drinking. Before I could react, he grabbed my jaw, making me look at him.

"You listen to me. You don't have to love me. But when I ask you to do something like stay with me, you better do as I say you suicidal slut." He spat, using his force to push me away onto the wooden floor.

I cried in pain, knowing the ground hit me the wrong way, but he stood up over me, grabbing me by my arm to pull me back up. "Stop yelling like a bitch. Get your ass up to the bedroom because I need to teach someone a lesson."

This wasn't something new to me. I was glad he was drunk because when he was thinking straight, everything hurt more. He couldn't hold back what he was doing with the lack of alcohol.

His tight grip released, and the blood flow returned back to normal, except I could already feel the bruises making their mark on my forearm.

"I am not going anywhere with you." I stepped away, pushing myself far away enough to where he couldn't grab me.

I stuck out my middle finger at him, and left the apartment in a full sprint, shutting the door behind me to buy me more time.

My head was cluttered with so many mindless thoughts, feeling the world I lived in crumbling at the seams and I was the cause of the road I took.

He gained on me, but I was perfectly timed, allowing me to pass through a red light while he had to stop at a green.

To loose him when the light switched, I turned into a random coffee shop. He would have thought I ran to the next block where I lived by myself, but that was too predictable.

I breathed heavily, forgetting that the noise I made coming in caused a huge disturbance in the shop. Eyes watched me, looking at my red arm that had a small tint of purple from Kevin and the scars that covered my arms. They didn't say a word, leaving everyone quiet except for me.

My nerves kicked in, anxiety being my kryptonite. My head felt light and the room seemed to be getting smaller and fears began to make my skin itch in paranoia.

I saw Kevin pass, and anxiously waited a few seconds before I could run off again.

I breathed gently and ran back out. I let myself guide my way, letting the tears rush past my face. I ran to my old apartment that I haven't been to in ages.

It was a security blanket for me. I never used it, but it was an escape when I needed one. The only person that knew I lived there was my landlord. I grabbed my key I hid on the top of the doorframe and unlocked the door as my hands shook in fear.

I gently shut my door and closed my eyes, trying to compose myself, but I knew that I have never done that before. Emotions always flooded my thoughts, making everything seem foggy to me.

I slide my hands up to my face, wiping my tears away, letting the mascara leave their mark on my palm.

My eyes opened and traveled down my arm to see my scars. They littered my skin, crossing every which way and some have never healed. I traced on of them, feeling the stinging sensation on my wrist, causing a feeling of pain and joy.

A tear fell onto the cut, and I thought about the pain life has put me through. What Kevin has put me through. What I put myself through. Everything that has happened was my fault.

I searched in my back pocket for my switchblade, and pulled it out seeing the shiny stainless steel reflection of my red bloodshot eyes.

I closed them, and slid myself down the door. My triggering thoughts motivated me to place the blade onto my arm and apply pressure.

A drop of blood slipped down my pale light skin. I dragged the blade along the skin, feeling the pleasure of dying furfill my dreams. I cut more lines, even repeating some of the old cuts.

A tear slipped, and my mind began to empty itself. I felt the pain numb and my vision begin to get dark and fuzzy. My eyes closed, and I didn't think anyone could find me.

But someone did.

÷A/N÷

I know, quite depressing for an introduction, but it won't be that way through most of the book, I promise. And, I do want to make chapters 1,000 words long, unless it is an update, or a filler, but I will try my best. I will also like to update every other day, and hopefully, it can stay that way, until I can write enough to go daily.

And don't worry, Simon will be in the first chapter, so it won't be like till the 5th chapter when she finally meets him, that would drive you guys insane.

UPDATE: After about 2 years of my first ff being published, I am currently fixing it up. So if this looks different, it is because I am rewriting it make it better. Any part with my dividing sign is a new version.

Welp, see you guys next time in the first chapter :)

-TheBaconist