Hate You Love You

Chapter Fifty

CHAPTER FIFTY

BEING A FOOLS

JOONG POV

I didn't realize that Dunk had noticed my behaviour towards James. I didn't want to keep any secrets from him since Dunk had always been open with me. So, I decided to tell him the truth about what happened between me and James.

I took a deep breath and looked at Dunk. "Do you remember when we were rushed to the hospital after we got news about Pond's surgery?" I asked, and Dunk nodded.

"I'm trying to let James know about it, but I was in shock and couldn't think straight," I continued.

"I know," Dunk said while holding my hand. "I was there beside you."

"Dads also came, and I remember Papa Win hugged me. Even after going back home, I was still in shock, but I remembered to ask Dad to let James know about it," I said, still vividly remembering the incident.

Dunk listened to my story with a soft look.

"Actually, before heading to the hospital, Dad (Bright) had already called James and informed him about Pond's situation. However, James' manager said that they couldn't bail from the invitation worth billions. Even though Dad also called the event's supervisor, the higher-up himself wanted James to attend because he was the face of the brand."

"I can understand that, but I can feel James' anxiety and panic at that time. He was messaging me frantically about Pond's condition even after I told him that Pond was already out of critical condition," I said.

"Then what makes you feel hurt and betrayed?" Dunk asked.

"It's the lies he's been keeping from me. I thought we were best friends, he was my childhood friend, and we shared everything. I thought of him as my brother, but he betrayed my trust," I said, feeling the hurt and betrayal.

"He lied to me about Pond's conditions. He knew all along about Pond's illness, yet he kept it from me," I said.

"James kept it from you maybe because Pond asked him to, Joong," Dunk said, trying to look at the situation from all angles.

"Not only that, I also discovered that James dated Pond not because he loved him but because I teased him. The actual truth is, he was actually in love with me," I said, feeling a mix of shock and anger.

"Seeing him coming with another man while Pond in that condition, I felt..."

"Jealous?" Dunk said, I looked at Dunk with wide eyes.

"What?! No, I don't have any romantic feelings towards James, I thought of him as my brother, it's sibling love, like you towards Phuwin and Gemini,"

"I pulled you closed, didn't I? When he walks close towards me."

I sighed, "I confronted him the next day, well, he actually came to my school..."

"Ah...when you said you had something important to do, you went to meet James?" Dunk asked

I nodded, "We talked at a nearby cafe," I said, Dunk looked at me with curiosity, I smiled, I didn't see any jealousy look from his eyes.

"He told me everything, about Pond's illness, why he kept it secret, the reason why he's dating Pond and also his true feelings for me,"

"Honestly, with all just happening, I had mixed feelings, it's all coming in one go..."

"I felt betrayed, I felt hurt, I felt confused, I felt anger and also sad...in the end I vented that to him and then walked away,"

Now that I think about it, why did I vent it all to James? I did feel betrayed by my childhood best friend, who I thought was like my brother. But, should I also be the blame too? I was so insensitive, I didn't even realize that my best friend suffered from a life-threatening illness, my childhood best friend's feelings towards me. Why am I so dumb? I feel like an idiot. Maybe, I was disappointed and angry at myself.

I smiled bitterly, "Dunk, do you think I'm selfish? Am I wrong to be angry like this? I'm an idiot isn't I, acting like this...I'm at a loss, Dunk,"

Dunk frowned, he then pinched my cheek. It's not hurt but still surprises me.

"I understand your feeling of frustration, you're surprised by all the information you have to swallow, I probably will react as you did," Dunk said, "I quite understand the part where you vented your emotions towards James, but walked out like that, leaving him alone without solved it, yeah, you're a selfish and an idiot!" He continues

Oh wow, Dunk really didn't hesitate to call me an idiot. But this honesty of him that makes me fall for him.

"Have you ever put yourself in James's shoes?" Dunk asks and I shake my head

"I think James also feels complicated and doesn't know what to do, maybe he wants to tell you about Pond's illness but he promised Pond not to tell you. Also, no matter how much he wants to confess his feelings to you, he is afraid that this will affect the friendship between you guys,"

I listened to Dunk and realised that I was indeed being insensitive and inconsiderate of other people's feelings. Just my own feelings.

"I can see how much James cherished the friendship from the way he smiles towards you at the finals game, how worried he is when you get injured, the way he looks at you at the music wave. Also, the shocked look he has at the hospital,"

"He knew that his feelings would never be reciprocated, so he chose to keep them because he didn't want to lose you as his best friend,"

Dunk's words really opened my eyes, I really am a fool. James suppressed his feelings towards me so that he would still be my best friend. He sacrificed a lot, didn't he?!

I look at Dunk and smile, caressing his cheek gently.

"Thank you, Dunk, for opening my eyes," I said

"So, what are you going to do now?"

"I will clear all of this with James now," I said standing up, I lent a hand to Dunk, "Would you go with me too?"

Dunk looks surprised but then smiles at me and reaches for my hand. "Of course," he answers

I called Dad to ask about James' schedule for today so I could go talk to him and clear all of this. After all, I still love him like my brother. I need to apologize not only to James but also to Pond too. I need to learn more sensitivity to my surroundings, at least to the people I care for.

I'm so grateful to have Dunk as my boyfriend. He makes me see everything from another perspective.

________

Finally, the long wait for the update!

What do you guys think? Is Joong being selfish here?

Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter too. I'm trying not to make it complicated between these two or make James the third-wheeling. Too much drama 😅

Also, thank you for the encouraging comments. You guys are my safe place, Wattpad is my safe zone. I can be free here, forgetting all the problems and can be anything in this story. Once again, thank you guys. 💜