This Could Be Us (Swae Lee)

Chp.23

My arm was drapped around a pillow, I was sitting at my home watching tv and trying to enjoy the peace and quiet.

Which I never have with Khalif around. Currently I was thinking about the new situation I was placed in, my mother called a few hours ago and announced to me some very hard news.

Tears filled my eyes just thinking on it. She was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. I didn't even know that it ran in our family. The tears started to pour from my eyes and I gripped the pillow tighter. She told me not to worry because God will always be with her and she has all faith in him that she'll live the rest of her life as intended.

But it's hard to even think of the possibility of loosing her. I lost my father to war and now I might loose my mother to a battle thats almost impossible to beat.

Khalif had called multiple times and has sent me various text messages asking what was so wrong with me, but all I could do was mope.

I wanted to be comforted but at the same time I just wanted to be left alone. At the moment I was watching a CBS series called Extant staring Halle Berry.

It was slightly taking my mind off of things, but the part in the show wasn't making it any better.

A light groan left my lips its been nearly a month since the starvation fiasco and things with Swae and I could never be better but with me pushing him away was going to aggravate him.

I flipped over on my back and stared up at the ceiling. What if I had kids and they had to go threw the pain I did when my father passed? Or what if they had a sibling such as I did? All of these What Ifs ran threw my mind like a track race.

Question after question yet none could be answered, only time could tell. There was a knocking at my door but I just layed there ignoring whoever stood foot at the threshhold. Once again there was a knocking but I ignored it.

That was until my phone buzzed and I picked it  up to see a message once again from Swae.

SwaeisBae: Please come to the door Nique.

I sat up my head pounding I stepped foot onto the hard wood floors and grabbed a house coat to cover my half naked body. When I made it to the door and opened it Swae was sitting on the floor with his back towards the door.

When he saw that I finally came to the door he stood up taking a look at me. “Whats wrong babygirl?"

I couldn't even choke out any words I just pulled him into me crying into his chest letting out long hard cries.

Swae scooted into the apartment a little more and then shut the apartment door back. He held me while rubbing circles on my back.

“Why me Lord why me!?" I screamed into Swae's chest but it came out muffled.

Swae picked me up and carried me to my room laying me out on my bed. “Babe please tell me what the problem is!"

Hiccups started and I just looked at Swae with tear filled eyes “My Mom ha- has breass-breast cancer Khalif!"

Swae climbed onto the bed and hugged me tightly “Oh God Im so sorry to hear that."

I shook my head “It's not fair! Its not fair!!" I threw a tantrum.

Kicking my legs and waving my arms everywhere. Swae grabbed my arms “Hey look at me."

I settled down a little to look at him “Nique your mom wouldn't want you acting like this. She wouldn't at all, she would tell you to be strong and that God is watching over her. I'm pretty for sure that's what she said when she told you. So why disgrace her by acting this way?" He asked.