This Could Be Us (Swae Lee)

Chp.38

Swae spent all day and night for two weeks straight looking for Khalil its as if he and Carmen disappeared of the face of the Earth.

Khalil was as much as my child as he was her's. I spent damn near two years of his life with him. I watched his first steps, heard his first words, and nurtured him when he cried.

Then she thinks she can walk up in here and take him from me. I bet yall are wondering how Im so calm huh? Well those two weeks Khalif searched for Khalil happened nearly 7 years ago.

My life had changed drastically for a long period of time, I was distraught and almost went insane. If it wasn't for Swae caring for me and taking me to different therapist and doctors I'd be in a mental ward somewhere.

There was a push on my shoulder and I snapped from my thoughts "Huh? Yeah?"

Swae grabbed my hand standing me up "C'mon its our turn."

Swae and I have been having problems with Rosalynn in school. She's been so reserved and out of it that she hasn't spoken to the teachers or other kids in a few weeks.
Khalil and I walked into the principal's office.

An interpreter stood beside the principal and Rosalynn sat sitting in a seat near the desk her head dropping.

"Take a seat." the interpreter spoke while looking at the principal for further signs.

"Your daughter has done nothing wrong, I assure you. But there is something different about her rather happy vibrant demeanor. Have you noticed this?"

I looked towards the interpreter "I do not need you to speak for me, its my Husband here that doesn't no how to sign completely."

I signed my hands in a rapid pace explaining my child's new behavior. Rozlynn watched to see what I was saying.

"Well yes it seems as if she is depressed, do you have any Idea what could be the matter with her?"

Swae shook his head no while shrugging, if anybody would no it would be him. She is a daddy's girl to the fullest.

We looked towards Rosalynn for an explanation, when she looked up she looked teary eyed (This is what Rosalynn signs)
"Im tired, everyone around me can hear and talk and I..I sit and wonder what everyone says when they aren't signing. I'm so sad because I want to be like Mommy and Daddy I want to be normal."

The principal looked towards her and us, I wasn't expecting that because my baby seemed so comfortable with who she was.

I knew when I first heard the news that she was deaf that this would be an issue but never did I think it'd be so soon. I stood up and I motioned her towards me, tears flooded my eyes as well as her's I picked her up and she wrapped her hands around me.

"In no disrespect, but this is a family matter. If you dont mind Im signing her out for the rest of the day."

The interpreter signed what I just spoke to the principal and the principal nodded. Swae took pur crying daughter out of my arms and I went to sign her out.

As we got in the car I sat in the back seat while Swae drove home.

(Anything in bold writing is being signned in sign language towards Rosalynn)

I looked at my beautiful baby girl "Hun you as normal as could be. You are how God made you to, just because you cant hear and speak the way we do doesn't make you any less of the person you are. I want you to understand that even though you aren't the normal you want to be you are normal, dont ever let anybody bring you down do you understand me!"

She looked at me with her big green eyes a small frown on her face "Momma I love you and Daddy alot but I want to be normal like you guys. I know you say I'm normal but its to make me feel better, I want to be for real normal like the kids at the park or at the stores." She started balling.

Swae stepped out of the car and opened her side up unbuckling her from her booster seat and picking her up. He still wasnt to good at the whole sign language thing but he had plenty of ways of communicating with his babygirl.

As she cried on his shoulder I sat in the car because I knew he'd handle it for me. My eyes were teary and my nose stung, my lungs burned because I wanted cry but at the same time I knew not to. Since Rosalynn was born I was determined that I'd be strong for both of us no matter what.

As I let a few tears fall Swae came out he shut the front door behind him. He sat in the back seat and pulled me closer to him. He kissed my forhead "She is growing up Nique. She is gonna start having problems like these more often comparing herself to everyone around her, just like you and I did when we were younger she just has it a little tougher."

I nodded my head in agreement while let out a quiet sob "I..I dont want to see her like this though."

Swae smiled at me lifting my face off his chest "You two are my babygirl's no matter what I will love you two. Let any one make her feel less than what she is they will have me to deal with. Omunique stop worrying she is a strong little girl. Do you know what she just told me?"

I wiped my eyes shaking my head no.

"She told me that she was a big girl and that she was gonna stay a big girl for us and stop all her crying because Mommy told her big girls are strong."

I smiled and let out a laugh at the same time. "That sounds like her."

Swae smiled while pulling me into him kissing the top of my head. A sigh left my lips "Khalif I've been thinking about Khalil lately."

"Why has he been on your mind?"

I looked down fiddling with my fingers "I came across a picture of him when I was going through our old belongings like our wedding photos, and I had a picture of him in his crib smiling at the camera."
I choked up on my words.

"I miss him still Swae."

Swae smiled at me once again "I know deep down that he is okay. He is out there with Carmen bitch ass somewhere in this world. And mabey one day we will once again meet."

I nodded my head while it laid on his chest. I sat up and got out of the car while walking into the house "Is she sleep?" I asked.

Khalif nodded his head yes. I ran my fingers through my recently cut hair. "What time do they need you to be at the Grammy Awards Rehearsal?" I asked.

Swae shrugged "I dunno I was thinking about skipping today, it seems like my family needs me a little more than usual today."

I snickered "More than usual boy we dont never need you that much."

I muffed his head as he smiled at me. He grabbed me in by my waist turning me around to face him, I looked up at him while grabbing his hand and twisting the wedding band around a few times.

I leaned up towards his lips and kissed them softly. As I lowered myself down I felt a tug at my pants.

"Ya nasties!"

I laughed at My Rosy "We love you to my beautiful girl!"