Believe in Me

Chapter 61

Anna's POV:

I sat with my head buried in Demi's neck as we waited for the doctor to come in. I was honestly terrified for the results. I was terrified that if I wasn't fertile, that I would never be able to have children and because of that no one would want to marry me. On the other hand though, I was terrified that if I was fertile still, then I would have to go through more awkward, triggering and painful procedures. It was honestly a lose, lose situation.

"What are you thinking about baby?" Demi asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Nothing." I lied.

"That's believable..." Demi smirked.

"It's just... I don't wanna talk about it." I admitted.

"I know. Talking might help though." Demi reasoned.

I sighed. Demi was right. She always made me feel better when my mind was getting too far ahead of me and creating horrible situations.

"Um... I'm nervous that I might not be able to have children, but I'm also nervous about the procedures and stuff if it turns out I can." I admitted.

Demi nodded in understanding.

"I know it's not fair that you have to deal with all of this baby girl, but I don't want you worrying. Even if you can't have babies there's always adoptions. This won't stop you from being a mom and having a family some day. As far as the procedure goes, you don't have to worry about that. You know I'll be with you no matter what and nothing the doctors do is meant to hurt you." Demi said.

I just nodded into her neck, not trusting my voice to respond. We sat for a few more minutes in a tense silence with Demi rubbing my back to sooth my nerves.

When the doctor walked in I quickly adjusted myself on Demi's lap so I was facing her and tried to read her facial expressions. She had a clip board in hand and pulled up a swivel chair so she could talk to us.

"Okay. So, I've got good news and bad news." She started.

At the mention of bad news, Demi grabbed my hand and squeezed it, waiting for the doctor to continue.

"So, Anna is indeed producing mature eggs which means that we are in the clear for the retrieval procedure, however, we are unsure of the damage that was caused to your eggs because of the radiations and chemo so it isn't guaranteed that in the future that the embryo will be successful in attaching to the uterine wall. We are hopeful though that if we remove a dozen eggs or so that you will be successful in at least one case." The doctor explained.

I nodded, a small smile creeping into my face. I honestly didn't matter at the moment that I had mixed feelings about the procedure. Having children in the future was finally a possibility for me!

I could tell Demi was equally excited because she kissed my temple and began stroking my hand in a loving way.

"With this being said, we will need to start preparing for the retrieval process. We need to get Anna on a hormone shot that is to be administered once every morning and we'll need to set up the actual IFV retrieval appointment. Do either of you have any questions?" The doctor asked.

I think I surprised Demi by speaking up.

"Um yeah... What will the procedure be like?" I asked awkwardly.

The doctor gave me a sympathetic smile before looking at Demi and asking for what I assumed was permission to tell me about it. I felt Demi nod behind me.

"Well, you'll go to the hospital to have it done. It is treated like a surgery and is done in an operating room, but you'll be awake the whole time. Don't worry though, we'll have you numbed so you won't feel anything. The doctors will have you lay back in the same position I had you in today and will use a similar instrument to guide the tool we actually use to grab the eggs, but don't worry, like I said, you'll feel nothing." The doctor explained.