Believe in Me

Chapter 16

Anna's POV

This week has been awful. I can't even numb the pain anymore. All I feel is physical and emotional pain. I almost committed suicide one night, but then I thought of Demi. If she really cared for me like she made it seem I would feel awful if I did that to her. I know what it feels like to loose someone and I don't want to have that happen to anybody else. Demi made me give her my number so she could check on me. Every night she texted me "Stay Strong". I got that text right before I was going to commit suicide. I never thought I'd say this, but I want to get better. I want to be happy, I want to beat cancer, I want to get clean, I want to be a warrior like Demi. 

Tonight was the last chance I would have to win this competition. I was singing Nightingale for the stripped down song, The House That Built me for the song that we already sang and want to sing again, and I Will Always Love You for my duet with another contestant. The other contestant I was singing with was Austin Bellow from the boys category. Tonight is going to be a hard night. I don't know how I'm going to be able to make it through Nightingale. It is one of my favorite songs, but why did Demi have to choose it for me to sing?

The show was starting and the first song I had to sing was The House That Built me. I was feeling really homesick so this is going to be difficult. I just want my old life back. I want my mommy back. I even want my brother and sister back. I would die to be able to mess with them again. I don't even care about the mean things they had said about me. I just want to go back to my old normal life. 

"I know they say you cant go home again. 

I just had to come back one last time. 

Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam. 

But these handprints on the front steps are mine. 

And up those stairs, in that little back bedroom 

is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar. 

And I bet you didn't know under that live oak 

my favorite dog is buried in the yard. " I was already holding back tears and I had just started singing. I looked at Demi and she was mouthing the words and her eyes were glassy.

"I thought if I could touch this place or feel it 

this brokenness inside me might start healing. 

Out here its like I'm someone else, 

I thought that maybe I could find myself 

if I could just come in I swear I'll leave. 

Won't take nothing but a memory 

from the house that built me. 

Mama cut out pictures of houses for years. 

From 'Better Homes and Garden' magazines. 

Plans were drawn, concrete poured, 

and nail by nail and board by board 

Daddy gave life to mama's dream. " I was struggling to get the words out. I remember when we added on to our house. It was before my dad left. My parents spend so long planning it and my Dad helped build it. They were so happy. Me and my siblings would sit and watch the addition being built. I want to go back to those days when nothing was wrong and I was normal.

"I thought if I could touch this place or feel it 

this brokenness inside me might start healing. 

Out here its like I'm someone else, 

I thought that maybe I could find myself. 

If I could just come in I swear I'll leave.