Believe in Me

Chapter 33

Demi's POV

We just sat on the couch for what seemed like forever. I was trying to digest all the information that was just thrown at me. I don't really know how to help Anna. I've been through it, but that doesn't make me an expert or anything. I don't really know how bad it is either. I mean she's been struggling since she was 7 so it has to be pretty bad, right? Maybe I should get her professional help. I could take her to Timberline Knolls, but that could just end up making things worse. She's been moved around so much in the last few months and I really don't want to make her move again, especially into a rehab facility. She just now started getting comfortable here. Plus if she checked into treatment the media would find out and she'd probably get a lot of hate for it. I'll try my best to help her on my own.

"Hey Anna?" I asked. She looked up to me with her red swollen eyes and tear tracks covering her face. "I'm going to make a deal with you. If you get the urge to do anything or you need to talk you have to come to me, and if you don't then I'm going to have to get you professional help," I said scared of what her reaction would be. To my surprise she just nodded and latched back onto me crying again. "I love you baby girl," I reminded her.

Anna's POV

Well I told Demi everything. It actually felt good to tell her everything. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel guilty for dragging Demi into this though. Demi told me that if I didn't come to her when I got urges that she would have to get me professional help. I don't need professional help. I'm not that messed up, am I? Today is the day where I will turn my life around. 

We stayed at Demi's apartment for the rest of the day. I guess Demi didn't want to make me face people today. I was glad because I felt so vulnerable. Nobody except for Demi knew, but I felt like people could see right through me now. I was starting to get kind of bored and antsy though. I started to get that weird tingling feeling. The voices were back. I need to cu- No! I'm not going to! I need to distract myself. "Demi, can I go play piano?" I asked.

"Sure, are you okay?" I guess she noticed how antsy I was. I remembered what she told me earlier and I told her the truth.

"Uh yeah, I just need to distract myself," she nodded understandingly.

"Okay, but I'm coming with you," she had been watching me like a hawk all day. I nodded in agreement and then went and got my song book. If Demi saw my songs now it wouldn't really matter. There are just a few that I don't want her to see. I sat down and started playing one of my favorites, Who You Are. I wrote it a while back when I was getting bullied in school and it's been my favorite ever since. I saw Demi trying to read the scribbled down lyrics while I was playing. "That's beautiful Anna, sing it for me," she said after I finished playing it. I started playing it again and sang with it this time. 

"I stare at my reflection in the mirror:

"Why am I doing this to myself?"

Losing my mind on a tiny error,

I nearly left the real me on the shelf.

No, no, no, no, no..." I felt Demi put her hand on my back and sit on the piano bench with me.

"Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!

Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,

It's okay not to be okay.

Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.

Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,

Just be true to who you are!

(who you are [11x])