My Daddy || Ashton Irwin

Chapter 30 -

I wake up on Sunday morning to a heavy pounding on the door. I hurry out of bed and contemplate changing out of my Scooby Doo pajamas, but it sounds like the person at the door is in a rush.

When I'm at the front door I open it wide, revealing my mother. She looks tired, and the dark circles under her eyes are prominent. She's dressed in grey sweatpants and a black, baggy sweater. Despite all of that, she still manages to look beautiful.

"Mommy!" I squeal, racing into her arms. She drops her suitcase and wraps her arms around me. I can't recall the last time I called my mother 'mommy,' but I know it was a long time ago. "I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too." She pulls back and smiles at me. "Were you alright while I was gone?" She asks, pressing a quick kiss to my forehead.

"Yeah, I had Paula and Maggie over on Friday," I tell her, neglecting to tell her about the boys.

"That's wonderful, sweetie. Now, I have to talk to you. Go change, and then meet me in the living room, alright?"

"Okay, mom." I answer her.

I return upstairs and quickly change into leggings and a t-shirt, slipping on my most comfortable flats.

When I get downstairs my mother isn't in the living room yet, so I sit down on the couch to wait for her.

She walks into the room, and she doesn't really look the same anymore. Her face is covered with make up to make her look more lively and awake, her clothes are nicer yet causal.

She sits down next to me, resting a hand on my thigh. "Sweetie, I have to talk to you about your father." She says, handing me a letter. "Read that when you get upstairs, it's from him."

I nod and she continues. "Your father killed the woman in the car, even though he didn't intend for that to happen it still did. He's going to be in prison for fifteen years, darling." She tells me, a tear rolls down her cheek but she's quick to pat it away, careful not to mess up her make up.

"Okay," I sigh, looking at her. "I guess that's what I was expecting, anyways."

She smiles. "I love you so much sweetie, and I want you to know it's okay to be sad about this, it's okay to hurt. You'll be okay, and I'm always here.

"Now, head on up and read that letter, and then you and I can watch a few movies together, okay?" She suggests and I nod.

Upstairs, I close my bedroom door quietly and sit down on my bed. I carefully unfold the letter.

The handwriting is sloppy and in cursive, and I know immediately it's my father's handwriting.

Ella,

I'm sure your mother has told you that I'm going away, and god knows I deserve it.
I know that you might be having some trouble right now, but you can always call and always mail, I might be on the other side of the world but I'm always here.
I hurt our family, everything that has happened is my fault. I made a mistake, and now I have to pay for it.
Ella, you should know I never wanted to leave you alone. The day you were born was the greatest day of my life, and I've loved you ever since.
I understand you are probably angry at me, and that's okay. It's okay to fall apart sometimes, it's okay to feel pain. It's what makes us human.
I love you so, so much pumpkin. Don't forget.
Love,
Dad.

By the end of the letter I'm in tears. My hand is shaking as I set the letter on the side table. I cover my mouth with my hands to avoid making noises that will alarm my mother, and I lay down.

The tears are streaming down my face and my chest hurts and I can't breathe. It's okay to fall apart sometimes, it's okay to feel pain. It's what makes us human. My father's words come rushing to mind and I sob even harder.