What Hurts The Most (August Alsina)

30

Vanity

I glared at Jasmine's first foster parent Cheyenne while she had a look of pure fear on her face as she sat on the other side of the room twiddling her fingers. At this very moment all I wanted to do was kill her. 

"I hate you!" I yelled out to her.

"You have got to calm down," Dr. Silerio said calmly in a soothing voice as I slowly tried to gain a calm composure.

"Dr. Silerio I hate her," I cried, internally fighting with myself for showing emotion. I’d held all this emotion inside for decades and hated that I appeared so vulnerable. No one was supposed to see this side of me. This side of me was not supposed to exist. I was supposed to be tough, I was the protector and right now I felt weak.

"Remember we talked about expressing ourselves."

"I’m sorry," Cheyenne stated, still apprehensive.

I didn't even bother to look in her direction anymore as I focused my attention to Dr. Silerio, I was upset with her as well. How dare she. Over the past couple of weeks Jasmine had been having many sessions with her and had placed a lot of trust in her. She confided in her about all of the struggles she endured. Dr. Silerio was wrong for even inviting Cheyenne to something so personal.

Jasmine trusted Dr. Silerio, but I didn't. When I allowed her to even see a psychologist and form a bond with her she just had pull some shit like this which was way out of line. The moment Cheyenne walked in was the moment Jasmine let me in.

"What's your name?" Dr. Silerio inquired. I sat back in my chair, crossed my legs and rolled my eyes. She know damn well who the fuck I am.

"You know who I am." I responded with a sly smirk on my face.

"Tell us who you are," she motioned her hand between her and Cheyenne.

I stared at her before I sat up in my chair. "Vanity muthafuckin' Jones.

Dr. Silerio smiled, "Nice to finally meet you Vanity." I didn’t respond, but only turned to glare at the women I wanted to kill. I hated her with every fiber in my body. She looked back at me with sad eyes of recognition. "Vanity," Dr. Silerio spoke up bringing my attention back to her. "Why do you hate her?"

"Because she played stupid to what her nasty ass son did to Jasmine, her and her weird ass husband. Jasmine was so scared to come to her and open up about the things that was going on under her roof but I wasn't. Instead of her listening to me and being a mother figure to not only her kids but to Jasmine she failed. I brought up what was going on even after Jasmine begged me not to. And instead of believing me and what I was saying she yelled and hit me."

"Is this true?" Dr. Silerio asked Cheyenne.

She shook her head, "I would never do that. I love Jasmine."

"Liar!" I yelled, jumping up from my chair.

"Vanity!" Dr. Silerio called my name to stop me. "Vanity, I called this meeting today to help you. I want to help you confront your past. Cheyenne is not your enemy."

"Like hell she ain't. She was the parent, once she learned what was happening she turned a blind eye to it, not believing anything I was telling her about her foul ass son."

"Vanity you must calm down, especially when I bring this next person in."

"I ain't making no promises." I said then sat back in my chair. Dr. Silerio was really trying me today. If I would've known she would be bringing in people from the past I wouldn't have let Jasmine come here. Jasmine didn't have the right stability to sit here and go through this. That's why she disconnected as soon as Cheyenne walked in, leaving me to deal with all this.