What Hurts The Most (August Alsina)

39

Raigen

I kicked off my shoes after coming back inside the house with Paige right behind me. She did the same thing and then we both trudged to the couch and plopped down, just exhausted from the day's work. It's been like this often actually, just exhausted all the time and I wish I could blame it on the pregnancy but no it's just exhaustion from having to relentlessly take care of my father who doesn't even attempt to take care of himself anymore.

Paige and I spent all day trying to get daddy to do anything, just something more than sit on the couch and looks so lost, and so empty. For the first time, I got a glimpse of what August was going through with me, and I get it now. It's horrible to be watching someone go through that and it makes me realize that I need to take care of myself better and that I need to try harder. Like I told daddy, we need to try harder on bettering ourselves and learning to accept, not forget the memories of my mother and his wife, but embrace the lost and celebrate the times that we shared, and that's what I'm planning to do, if not for myself, and my unborn baby then for my dad to prove to him that it's possible.

"I can't believe he didn't even want to take a shower Rai." Paige reminisced with a loud sigh.

I nodded my head thinking about the way my father was in shambles. "I know, I can't keep seeing him like that P."

"I know, but I'm pretty sure he still can't believe it, hell I can't still believe it."

"Me neither, but we gotta--we gotta get through this." Paige choked out.

Out of nowhere she shoved her hand over her mouth and began to cry again before she bolted up off of the couch and towards the bathroom. Seeing Paige cries always makes me cry too so my tears followed shortly after. It's hell seeing everyone you care about like this around you but this is the most difficult thing we've all endured and it's the toughest pill we've ever had to swallow.

I was just about to get up to go check on Paige when August begun to jog down the steps and right over to me. He yawned and outstretched his arms before draping them around my lazily.

"Hey baybeh, when you get back?" He asked before kissing my cheek.

I shrugged and then pushed my hair out of my face. "Like five minutes ago. Paige came back with me."

"Oh word? She comin' to the appointment too?"

"Appointment?"

"The ultra-sound ma, rememba?"

I gasped and then smacked my forehead remembering that today was in fact one of the most important appointments thus far; the gender reveal.

"Oh crap, I can't believe that slipped my mind, I was so busy with daddy that I had completely forgot." I gasped.

August bit down on his lip and then slowly nodded. "Well we gotta be out of here in like twenty minutes so we can be thea' on time."

"Okay sweet, well I'm ready whenever you are."

"What about P?"

"Oh she kind of, got emotional again. I'll go check on her right quick."

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"So are you guys ready to find out the sex of the baby?" The ultrasound technician asked.

"Yes!" August and I both answered simultaneously. The technician began to get the anatomy of the baby while pointing out to us what certain things were.

August was getting annoyed and impatient by the expression on his face. He hated waiting for something he was really anxious about, I'm that way too but she has to check to see if the baby is good. I'll rather know that then the sex, just cause I know how I've been these past weeks. With slacking on taking care of myself because I was depressed and going through the emotions of losing my mama.